#9

2007-09-13T19:25:00.000+08:00

So prelims are over, but it kinda doesn't feel any different. Yeah Os are coming up, so that just means more studying. Anyway i was clearing my room today cause i hate clutter. Clutter creates dust and dust makes me a very itchy and pissed off person, so this is like damage control y'know? So i cleared all that paper and i realised something. Well. Take a look.

^ this is before, when i shifted everything to the floor to be sorted out.

^ this is like, kinda halfway or in the middle of it if that's what you wanna call it.

^ this is um, almost done!

^ done!

So conclusion? I'm terribly organised. It doesn't even look like a mess, not at the start and not even in between. =S but then again i cleared A LOT of worksheets, notes, tests and stuff so i might've just thrown away stuff that i'd need for Os. So if i end up screwing up, we all know what happened. =/ But its for a good cause! cause its bye bye dust mites.

Rme retreat on friday til sunday - at the seminary. Haha, DIE.

2007-09-06T02:49:00.000+08:00

I THINK THAT HIPPOS ARE ROUND, CUTE & NICE TO HUG.

ESP.

PURPLE HIPPOS.

WITH STITCHED UP BUTTOCKS.

2007-09-03T21:57:00.000+08:00

I think this whole issue about grad. night is seriously ridiculour. For one, i can fully understand why anyone would want grad. night to be held in a hotel. Maybe its not as sentimental as having it in school, but prestige and atmosphere wise, it beats having it in school hands down. And everyone wants grad. night to be grand and memorable right? Right.

But, some people argue, if people can afford $50 to have it in school, they can afford $100 to have it in a hotel. Sure, easy for you to say! You don't come from a single parent family with unstable income and 3 other siblings to support and send to school. Okay, so maybe you get more money in a month than that family might get in 2. But so what, have some sensitivity

And then there's an argument that the cost shouldn't be so high. That the school should pay to defray it. Why? It wasn't the school who wanted it, it was the students. If the school admin had a choice, it wouldn't organise grad. night anyway, because as far as they're concerned, its not an utmost necessity. So you want it, you pay for it.

Then there's another school of thought that says, 'I've done so much for the school, why can't the school do something for me now.'

I say, think again. Seriously. What have you done for the school? Won a few medals maybe? But think about it, what's our school known for. Sporting excellence? Not quite. People respect our school because we build people of character.

What does our school preach?

Faith. Service. Community.

How many times have you doubted the abilities of your classmates? Looked down on them, disregarded their opinions, shown an absolute lack of faith in them. How many times?

What about when you force your classmates to clear your plate for you during recess? Or the time when you refused to do a small favour for a friend, a favour that would require no effort? When ahve you shown yourself to be an exceptional man of Service?

And remember when you left that classmate out? How you ostracized him along with everyone else? How you made extra effort to exclude someone from your Community of friends.

Sure, none of us have the right to criticize one another. But ask yourself again, have you really done your school proud that the school needs to repay you? After all, the school aims to build men of Service and Integrity. Where does repayment fit into any of this?

On a different note, i think that in SJI, there is no elite. There are men of Service and Integrity. And then there are those of us who fall short. Most of us fall short, i know i do. So elite? Somehow, that doesn't fit into Josephian culture.

On another different note, i think this picture's kinda cute.

It looks like the bear's nose is glowing. I know, my phone's camera's horrible. But, whatever.

2007-07-29T23:08:00.000+08:00

For the most part of our lives, i think people over-react. Things aren't always as bad as they seem and we content ourselves with things the way they are. After a while we think its part of our personality to deal with shit the way we do and we blame everyone around us when really, we brought it upon ourselves. Hardly do people ever stop and think to themselves, 'I could be happy. So much happier and so much more.' So let me ask you, why can't you just be happy? Why can't the world? And you think you're cool that way.

I was just thinking about Peer Support in SJI and how we've wanted to do so much and yet we keep falling short not because we don't try but rather, because its so impractical. Seriously, if you look at leadership here, we're heading for nowhere. Service? Nonsense. Faith? What faith. Community? We're so exclusive sometimes. And if you compare us to other people, i honestly think that more often than not, they've got it right. We haven't. I look at some people in our school and i think to myself, these aren't josephians. They're just people who happen to go to the same school as me.

I have a theory. Going to SJI doesn't make you Josephian. Its what you do that does.

2007-07-22T23:09:00.000+08:00

In a few years' when i have the sudden urge to go back to SJI for Renaissance, i really don't wanna look at how rowdy the students are and think to myself, 'wow, this is no different from 8 years ago!'. Seriously, its shameful. Sec1s well, i don't blame them, it was compulsory for them anyway. Sec2s, they could've exercised some self control. And sec3s, they all think they're so cool.

Anyway Renaissance Gold was really good. Yep, really.

2007-07-13T20:45:00.000+08:00

This is a little like when you've waited for so long for something to happen, and when it finally does, you ask yourself, 'That's it?'. But i guess its a little worse when it happens and you're supposed to feel happy when instead you cringe and ask yourself, 'Why couldn't it happen some other way?'.

Anyway i had this really weird dream last night. Scared the shit out of me though it still came back and i had to shit like twice in the morning before school. But still, dreaming of people you know / don't know is one thing, dreaming of people you aren't supposed to be dreaming of is something else.

I like circles. They're round and you can put things in them.

2007-07-07T22:27:00.000+08:00

Okay since glen actually thought of me, i'll repay the favour by doing this.

START THINKING OF SIX PEOPLE.
- Fill the people in below!
- Answer the questions truthfully!

1. Marcus
2. Sean
3. Fabian
4. Joel
5. Alex
6. My teddy bear Binny.

[ yeah all guys, i know. i'm in no mood to think of girls right now. ]

1. Have you ever danced with number 1?
Marcus.
Uhh. No? All we ever do is have really dirty conversations about each other's friends and say things we really shouldn't be saying.

2. How long have you known number 2?
Sean.
no idea. a year? two years? But we're best friends !

3. Have you ever gotten drunk with number 3?
Fabian.
Nope. But i don't doubt the fact that it'll happen one day. We have the tendency to do really stupid things when around each other.

4. Has 2 been to your house?
Sean.
Nope.

5. Has number 3 ever seen you naked?
Fabian.
Nah. The only person he wants to see naked is Megan Fox !

6. Have you ever gone shopping with 2?
Sean.
Yeah ! We paint the town red all the time. =D

7. Have you ever seen 5 in a swimsuit?
Alex.
HAHA. That'd be hilarious. But no, wouldn't want to either. Ever. Really.

8. Have you ever met 1's family?
Marcus.
I've only seen his maid and his little sister.

9. does 4 know your surname?
Joel.
No idea man. He doesn't even address me by my name. =O

10. Have you ever eaten anything in front of 2?
Sean.
Mhm!

11. Do you trust number 1?
Marcus.
With my deepest darkest secrets.

13. Have you ever fought with number 5?
Alex.
This one's really funny. Nope. But we always have really quirky misunderstandings where i'll hear him say something he didn't and get agitated or say something that meant something i didn't really intend it to mean. Yeah. And it gets kinda messed up once in a while but it always works out. Haha.

14. When's the last time you talked to 3 in person?
Fabian.
One hour ago? We were talking about that really pretty girl in the bus and arguing if she was looking at me or him. Guess who was right, HA.

15. Are any of your top 6 your family?
We're all one big loving family. =D

17. Have you ever done something
dangerous in school with number 6?
Binny isn't even real. Besides she spends her whole life on my bed. School? Ha. She lives the high life yo.

18. Have you ever slept in the same bed with 3?
Fabian.
Nope. He hugs me all the time in class though. Okay you didn't really need to know that.

19. Do you think 5 and 6 would make a good couple?
Yeah of course! I'm sure Alex loves soft toys.

20. Would 3 do anything for you?
Fabian.
Of course! I'm the only route he has to the girl he wants. Threats can be so effective sometimes.

21. Has 2 ever helped you out?
Sean.
Yeppers. He helps with all the misunderstandings which happen between me and The Great Evil. <- haha i'm kidding.

22. Have you ever slept with number 1?
Marcus.
Nope. And never will. We'd rather kill each other first.

23. Who have you known the longest?
Joel! We used to be in the same cath class.

24. Who have you known the shortest?
Binny i guess. I only got her after Confirmation last year.

25. Has anyone in your top 6 seen you cry?
Don't think so. Cause i've never cried in a really long time.

26. Have you had a crush on 1 - 6?
Haha no? They're all either male or non-human. I'm very interested in girls thank you very much.

27. Have you ever done anything illegal with number 2?
Sean.
The time when we got screwed for hanging around in the chapel when we weren't supposed to.

28. Will 1 - 6 repost this?
Don't know. Doesn't really bother me if they don't.

There ya go.

you walk the other way but you're always looking back.

2007-07-01T23:30:00.000+08:00

I'm in a really good mood right now. And when i say good i mean like happy clappy. Or like if someone told me the world was gonna end tomorrow i'd smile and say, 'oh how sweet' and take a nap. Yeah that kind you know. The kind where you're so happy you don't really wanna care about anything which goes on around you. Except maybe if a bird landed on my head right now, i'd freak out, maybe scream a little, and stuff my compass down its throat. Then maybe i'd de-feather it. Okay i most likely wouldn't de-feather cause i think birds are filthy creatures. Apart from eagles. Eagles are so beautiful and graceful and they have super awesome eyesight, something i've kinda lost a long long while back. They are totally cool creatures. In fact, they're so cool i don't think they should even be considered birds and should form a whole new species of animals on their own and have their own share of the estate in the animal kingdom. So have i already said? i don't think anything could possibly ruin my mood right now.

Anyway i ate frosties with milk and hershey's chocolate sauce just now. And let me ask you a question! Just a little food for thought. (get the pun?)

Do you add the chocolate sauce before the milk, or the milk before the chocolate sauce? The answer is directly below so if you had any integrity you'd think before looking.

The answer is: You add the frosties first !

haha, i hope you're laughing. If you're not, force yourself to or a random girl in midnight blue will come and take you away at exactly 12:13 pm lunchtime tomorrow! She will take your food away and force you to consume live lizards in cheese, whipped cream and salt. And the catch is that you have to finish it all in 4 bites. YEAH YOU HEARD ME. FOUR. So start laughing now OR ELSE. Anyway you're disgusting and i know you love lizards, so what does it matter anyway.

I also drank milo + coffee just now. Which is really water, sugar and milo and coffee powder. It didn't really taste like milo, or coffee. Just a little here, a little there, yet nowhere in between that kinda thing you know. I need to work on my ratio and proportion, really.

2007-06-28T22:37:00.000+08:00

I think its kinda cool how the floor towel outside my toilet says 'home sweet home'.

I miss my fringe quite terribly. My fringe and i kinda have this really cool relationship where we're both obsessed with each other. Okay maybe i'm just obsessed with it i don't really know. Anyway its been gone for quite a while now and its probably growing out of other parts of the body which i don't really wanna know where. And if you can't tell that i'm kidding then you, are an idiot of the 2nd degree. Idiot of the 1st degree is reserved for special people. If it was male i think we'd be gay right now. And if i had a girlfriend, she would be totally jealous of the attention i pay to it instead of her. I miss the feeling of having something in my eyes and something to brush out of the way every once in a while though it gets irritating. But its like entertainment, 'cept its attached to your body, in a way. Get my drift? So i'm just waiting for it to grow out. I'm not gonna say anymore or its gonna get emo. I mean, its just hair. what the hell.

Oh & ignore that sicko on my tagboard. He has to make up for what he lacks in intelligence, physical appearence and personality with ego. We should learn to be compassionate towards such people. mhm. But seriously, that's so sick man.

Okay i'm gonna memorise chemistry now, though it doesn't really make any sense to me. I guess there's just no chemistry between chemistry and I. Ironic huh. Why must i adapt to the subject? Why can't it just adapt to me? pfft. have fun kiddos.

2007-06-24T17:44:00.001+08:00

I'm not usually into quizzes and lame stuff like that. But i kinda saw this by accident & i thought it was kinda cool.

HAHA. wtf.

And i kinda have a feeling that this quizzy wizzy was meant for a female. You know, those creatures who don't have what we have & have what we don't have? YEAH, THEM.

-plays super scary theme song that climaxes with awesome guitar solo + breath-taking orchestral backing

But i took it anyway. See, knew i'd make an awesome female. Ha. Okay whatever.

2007-06-23T23:19:00.000+08:00

Today i stabbed my friend with a fork. Well, he's not really a friend anymore since i hurt him right? Anyway mum said it was O-K because he was irritating me. Like, really badly. She's says its bad for your health if someone irritates you but you don't do anything about. Its like forcing yourself to sit through a bad movie when you could just change the channel, or walk out of the cinema. Something like that. And i like forks. They're all sharp and stuff. And you can carry them around & no one would think you were gonna kill someone. Yo don't hear people saying things like, 'WATCH OUT ! He's got a fork!' or 'HE'S FRIGGIN' ARMED WITH A FRIGGIN' FORK. RUN YOU LITTLE INSECTS!'. Nope nope. + it would be really cool if i could get a gun that could shoot forks. But then we wouldn't be able to bring the gun around would we. Nah-uhh. So like, i'll just have the fork thank you very much. & i'm kinda pissed. 'Cause the fork's all dirty and stuff now. Blood's kinda cool. Its like you get this really cool shade when you blend really bright strawberries with chocolate. You think its really nice to eat strawberries and choco? If i poked a hole in you and it all started flowin' out, eat it i'd say, and you'd scream wouldn't you. Wimp Anyway i just have this thing with forks. Have i said that already? & that friend should be pretty O-K i guess, he just needed 28 stitches. At least he ain't gotta be makin' that much noise anymore. For a while at least. I'm gonna go count the number of hairs on Nixxie now. I'm weird like that, i know. C-ya.

-

So anyway, school's starting in about 1 day? Which means back to school. And yet it kinda doesn't feel any different. I think its gonna be awesome and yeah i know i'm twisted. But honestly, i think its gonna rock. Like rawk you know. Or rokk. Okay okay i get it, its gonna absolutely RaWk r0ck ROKK ! But seriously, i can't wait to get term 3 over and done with. Though it kinda means prelims and Os being much closer and stuff, okaayy. I think it'll be a whole lotta fun. So have fun people! Don't get hurt on the playground swings! cause I'M BUIlDING MY CITY ON ROCK & ROLL. -just kidding. =D

2007-06-14T00:02:00.000+08:00

NONSENSE. ( i guess i just felt like blogging nonsense. )

2007-06-08T23:59:00.000+08:00

I just wanna be me. No one can be me. I mean, why would anyone want to be me? I'm a complicated kid. No one can ever be me no matter how hard they tried. Nothing good will come of it. They shouldn't even be trying. They should have enough sense to know that all they can ever be is themselves. Seriously, its stupid. And lame. Why do they even bother? Why do they even try? No one can be me. Ever. Its not like my personality's copy-able. If there even is such a word. I think someone should re-write the dictionary. What with all those stupid, complicated, abstract words. Whatever. I don't care for them. I just wanna be me. I don't want anyone else to be me. Got that? YOU, over there. Be yourself. Don't even try to be me. Cause if you do, you'll regret it. It'll hurt, i promise you that. No one can be me. Not even you even if you think you can. No, don't even bother. Get a personality. Its for your own good.

Today was a weird day. I went to the toilet to crap like, 8 times? I wanted to leave the house for a little while but couldn't even do it cause my rectum was being like, so unpredictable. I was actually afraid to leave the house. And i drank coffee today. It made me so restless i couldn't even sit still. I had to stand up and walk around the house after every question. But at least that's better than falling asleep. I mean, i was so lethargic after sleeping for 12 hours straight i needed to coffee to keep me sane. So yeah, i guess it was worth it. Between being immortal or being sleeping beauty, i'd pick immortal. You get what i mean.

Oh and all that stuff in italics above. I was just talking to someone today and i thought, people have fashion crises. Do people face identity crises? Its like picking who to be instead of what to wear. I guess we should all try to be who we really are and not someone else, even if we look up to that person. Cause no personality can be duplicated. EVERYONE is different and actually, i'd like it to remain that way. Its kinda cool that way. I mean, i'd hate to see myself in someone else. Like, eek. Hahaha. And no i'm not laughing cause i was kidding about hating to see myself in someone else.

2007-06-04T23:08:00.000+08:00

I feel like typing a retarded bitching post about stupid nothings and everythings but i don't think i will. Cause well, who wants to read crap like that. I'll just type everything and in a few years time when i look through my archives like i did for my previous blog, i'd just be thinking to myself, 'I WAS SUCH A STUPID KID.' I guess some of us have the tendency to do such things. Dig up the past only to be embarrassed by things which once made so much sense to us. And then again, there're the smarter peolpe who don't keep archives. People tell us that its always good to keep remnants of the past so that you can reminisce when you're older. Yeah but then again, some of us just want to leave the past behind.

Many of us do things for different reasons. For example, how many of people like us bloggers, i don't know if i even consider myself one. Regularity isn't a concern to me yo, and i don't care for leaving my blog stagnant. A lot of people blog just so they can rant to something that won't question why or what they're behaving that way for. They won't have criticism shoved down their throats or through any other hole in their bodies. Well, fair enough. I guess everyone needs to let off some steam every once in a while.

And then again, there're those of us that are oh so passionate about our views and criticisms of this imperfect universe. We're quick to point out disturbing things we see and well, it kinda stops there doesn't it. It often irks me to think that to some people, talking about certain things just makes up for not doing something about it. Hey i pointed it out ! The rest is up to someone else. I've done my part by plotting the targets, someone else can make the bomb and drop it. Its like a moral obligation we're willing to fulfill, except only in part. We make up for not doing by talking. Its what we're good at isn't it. And i realised its the second time i'm talking about it. Yeah well, we all have the things that piss us off.

2007-05-29T16:22:00.000+08:00

CAUSE THEY MADE ME DO IT.

damn. This was when i was about 3 i think & i think i looked like a freaking girl last time. ITS MY MUM'S FAULT I SWEAR.
nevermind, i shall do damage control some other day. ergh. some people seriously think up the WEIRDEST dares.

2007-05-28T23:12:00.000+08:00

girl 1, 'oh my boyfriend is so cute !'
girl 2, 'haha, mine too yo. and he's always giving me THAT look. ohhh'
girl 1, 'mine does that too! makes you melt inside doesn't it'
girl 2, 'kinda yeah. haha. and he's so sweet ! buys me a rose everyday. mmm'
girl 1, 'oh mine too ! 'cept he gets me tulips. OH HOW I LOVE THOSE FLOWERS !'
girl 2, 'hahaha. real sweet thing huh'
girl 1, 'yeaahh. and i love how he holds my hand ..'
girl 2, ' ... strokes it ..'
girl 1, 'then whispers in your ear'
girl 2, ' .. nibbles it ..'
girl 1, 'huh, yours does that too?'
girl, 2, 'yeah, all the time !'
girl 1, 'OH MY GAWWDD.'

-

I think we humans talk too much. Yeah, all we ever do is talk. We're damn good at that aren't we. After all, God gave us a mouth, if we don't talk what do we do? Sure, we have a right to talk, a right to speak up, a right to be heard. Yet, we forget all the time that not only did God give us a mouth, but also a brain, a heart, arms & legs. What's the point in talking if we don't do? Yeah, i can talk, so can you, so can everyone else. In speaking, we are no different from one another. Its the doing that differentiates me from you; him from her.

In other news ! Damn, my household is officially devoid of all sources of milo. Now i have to drink ovaltine in the morning. My mornings are so gonna suck from now on. Okay maybe not so bad, i'd just rather milo than ovaltine anytime. I'm gonna turn into a milo dinosaur soon. rawr.

she dreams in colour, yet all she sees is red

2007-05-21T23:17:00.000+08:00

Okay today i shall blog about happy things ! I'll just pretend for a while that i can't see all the screwed up things that're going on around me. After all, ignorant is bliss. To a certain extent, i envy those who don't see such things happening. Of course its not their fault, they just well, don't see it.

Today i went for this bone scan thing and fyi, its got totally nothing to do with leukemia. And i swear to you, that woman who lives in the same house as me is L-A-M-E LAME to the max!

Bone scan: Taken literally, it can only mean one thing. The doctor makes an incision in your leg so that the bone which is giving the problem can be removed. You are left in a coma state until the bone has been scanned thoroughly, before the bone is re-inserted and you're stitched back up. YEAH-HA RIGHT.

Why don't we just say that in order to increase efficiency and in efforts to ensure that the patient doesn't waste time at the hospital undergoing tests and all, all hospitals have come up with a new procedure. Let's say a patient requires a bone scan for his left leg. What do doctors do? The patient is put to sleep for a while using general anaesthesia. During that period of time, his left leg is amputated from the knee down, and stored in a vacuum sealed pack. The patient is stitched up, and discharged that very same day. In the meantime, he can go about with his everyday activities while his leg is being scanned at the hospital! WOW. Totally amazing isn't it!
Could it possibly get any better than that? Its like having a mobile hospital conduct tests on you while you do your own things! Except that you don't see this hospital. Well, in a way yeah.

I swear it couldn't get any better than that.

we say one thing, yet our hearts walk the other way

2007-05-18T23:22:00.000+08:00

Being politically correct is so freaking conformist.

but then again, these people get to the places they want to get to.

this sucks.

2007-05-16T23:26:00.000+08:00

Initially, i was planning to post something real profound and all (yeah right), but i kinda decided to forego it and just do something simple. So lots of people are talking about belittling people, examining both sides of the arguments, pros & cons and whatever. I guess the typically conformist thing to do right now would be to come up with my own version right now. Don't get me wrong, i'm not trying to say that its bad that this whole issue was brought up. Whatever, if you get my drift you get it, if you don't, try harder. Anyway ! In case you haven't yet realised that i'm not going to type what i think about that issue, here it is: I'm NOT gonna say anything about it, i'm gonna talk about something else.

Tolerance is a beautiful thing. When someone shoves an insult in your face, is it possible to tolerate it and ignore it? Yep, its perfectly possible. What if that person continues doing so for another consecutive 4 weeks? Its still possible to tolerate and ignore. What if he continues doing it for the next, 4 years of your life? Is it possible then to hold your ground and keep mum? Yep, its perfectly humanly possible.

For us to say that it is impossible, and that tolerance would merely encourage the person to inflict more verbal abuse on us, says a lot about the person who believes in such an argument. It is just an excuse. Is retaliation human? Of course. Its human nature for you to hit back when someone hits you. However, who's the person with the bigger heart? The person who hits back, or the person who smiles and forgives? If you don't know the answer to this, it is THE PERSON WHO SMILES AND FORGIVES. If you haven't yet realised, it takes a lot more to smile and forgive than to just hit back.

Hitting back is a sad excuse for people who refuse to believe in forgiveness, need to hide their own insecurities about knowing they too, are not capable of forgiveness and want reasons to hit back. In a simpler word, revenge. Think about it.

When someone does something that you don't approve of, its always good to tell yourself that these people have what they THINK are good reasons to do so. Is that good enough for you to forgive? Maybe it isn't. For me it is. Life's too short to get pissed at anything/everything.

2007-05-11T16:57:00.000+08:00

OHHHHHH YEAHH. My computer is B-A-C-K BACK ! Which means i'm officially blogging from my room, eight floors above the ground and very nearly grazing the clouds. And this means i can now listen to the RENT soundtrack which that other dude who happens to live in the same house as me got for me! Which happens to remind me, in other non-related randeem (random stuff), i'll be going OUUUUTTTT TONIGHTT. <- if you don't get the Rent reference then i really don't care. So sue me for forks and spoons and what not. =D

You know, i was just blogsurfing all over the blogosphere and everytime i saw this blog where people are just so totally in love (or so they claim), and say things like, "I LOVE MY BABY", i'm just so tempted to tag and say, "I LOVE MY BABY TOOO." Yeah but then again i'd never do such a thing. Haha, i'm not making fun, it just really amuses me sometimes. After all, better love than hate you know. In whatever form whatsoever.

This little girl ran right into me just now. =/

2007-05-10T22:23:00.000+08:00

Well well, look where we are! You know, i'm so proud of myself for not breaking my hiatus. But then again, i never really was all that passionate about blogging. I mean, it comes and goes, you have that avenue to rant and release and when all that's done, does it really get you anywhere? Nah, you're still stuck where you once were, maybe a little happier, but it still doesn't solve the problem or whatever you were so upset about before.

Anyway, a little about blogging. Singaporeans generally claim that they blog because they don't want to hurt the person by being frank and honest, and telling him/her what they really think. The blog is a medium through which they can express their feelings without really hurting anyone, and no one gets into trouble, unless its so blatantly obvious who you're talking about, which in my case, happens all the time. But its intentional, yes it is.

Alright, my take on this. Honestly? I think we're all just scared. We're scared to speak up. We're scared to be honest with those close to us for fear that the relationship gets fractured and ends up falling apart somewhere along the way and ends up heaidng for nowhere. That's why we have things like IM, so we don't have to see the person's reaction when we tell them something that cuts through to the heart and just takes him/her apart inside. We don't have the guts to walk up to that person to tell them what we think, to stand up for what we believe in, and even die for it. We always talk about walking the talk, and it sounds real good in theory. Yep of course, that's what i'm doing right now isn't it? Talking. But i'd like to refer everyone to my cruel little friend sitting over there in that corner, reality.

HI reality, tell everyone what you think.

We write better than we speak? Nonsense, we're just scared. Writing is like a wall that separates. Books are but pages and hard covers. You stab a book, dip it in kerosene and set in on fire, throw it in the kallang river. What results? Just a little air and water pollution. The author is far away somewhere else, and he doesn't know that somewhere out there, someone hates what he thinks. Is it hard to be honest with those around us? Reality says "Yes, its freaking hard, fear's always what drives us back". But walking the talk says, don't make an excuse for yourself. Don't say you express yourself better in writing than in speech just because there are things you would never dare to say to someone, but would indirectly poke him in the ass on your oh-so-emo-i-can't-friggin-stand-him/her blog.

I say, be honest. If your relationship truly means anything to you, do something about it. Actions effect change. Apathy doesn't. Your mouth is but a maker of sound, do something to signify the solidifying of that sound into something we all have come to know/hate/love as CHANGE.

In lieu of the post exam period where everyone starts waxing lyrical and getting oh so poetic in describing how they're gonna be flunking every single paper to get an msg denoted by the linear inequality 6 < msg < 9, i suggest we start asking ourselves, what's with all the negativity?

I guess all of us get dragged through this period where its so cool to be flunking your papers, laughing at your single digit scores and sharing that awesome dream involving pigtails, icecream and nuclear warheads which you had during that whatever paper you were taking. Ah yes, so we think its cool not to study, to come to school unprepared and beat everyone else by getting the highest L1B5 in class. Everyone's worth is measured to a certain extent by their acheivements, and when we have nothing to show for it, what's it say about us? If being cool is being stupid, then no thanks, i don't wanna be cool. This is dumb logic. But then again, with the given brain of people who think this way, don't expect much in the area of logic and rationalisation yet. Our guns are facing the sky when all they have are bicycles.

What really irks me quite so badly sometimes is how low a person's self-esteem can get. I'm not talking about those people who get bullied or traumatised by a certain event that they start measuring their self-worth in negative amounts. Rather, i'm talking about those people who know very well how capable they are, yet go to certain ridiculous extents to tell themselves how stupid they are. Why compare yourself to a scholar and exaggerate the fact that all the scholars are gonna be aceing their papers while you'll be getting 1/100. Do you actually degrade yourself to such a level where your abilities have now gone beyond human that you can actually score 1/100? Why curse and swear at the scholars when all that really matters is YOU and not THEM. Oh right, for every scholar that gets an A1, your chances of getting another mark is increased by 4.2%. I'm totally sure it works that way.

But then again, people say things for different reasons. For many of us, it would be so much easier to give them the benefit of the doubt and say, "yeah alright, you did badly work harder'. But sometimes you really wonder, do these people say such things just so they can invoke a certain kind of response that goes somewhere along the lines of, "i thought your math is damn good! don't worry, sure can ace", and somehow or rather, you feel a whole lot better. Actually, what that really was was your ego inflating. Everyone needs a little recognition sometimes, for someone to tell them they're better than who they think they are. Still, i think people overdo it. If you know you freaking studied for that paper, stop all that verbal ejaculation about F9s, single digit scores and what not! Maybe it doesn't bother you, but it sure as hell gets on the nerves of those around you.

I mean, seriously, if you think of yourself as such a pathetic entity whose life has no significance whatsoever on this planet whose resources are predicted to run out in about 50 years' time, go get a counsellor. Giving up on yourself is the worse thing you could ever do.

(This post arrows no one in particular.)

2007-04-08T19:40:00.000+08:00

HIATUS.

Alright the above word's supposed to look bigger than normal because of emphasis and all that crap but yeah, i'm sure i got the point across. If not ..

HIATUS.
HIATUS.
HIATUS.
HIATUS! YEAH I SAID HIATUS YOU !@#%$^89.

yeahh point made. anyway, archives are there for a reason. see you around soon. =D

2007-04-01T23:29:00.000+08:00

close, yet not close enough.

2007-03-30T20:52:00.000+08:00

Since i was previously advertising a friend's blog, asking everyone to vote for her, i'll talk a little about anti-dieting! I'm not gonna give you some dictionary meaning of the word 'dieting', but just so you know (in case you don't already do), dieting basically just refers to starving yourself in order to lose weight. So you go hungry and feel all that pain that you'd normally feel when you don't eat. Yep, that's dieting for you. So anti-dieting just means not being in support of such behaviour which is in reality, a lot of self-inflicted pain. Its a little like slashing your wrists. There's just no blood involved. You put yourself through pain in order to make yourself better afterwards. But how slashing your wrists makes you better I've got no freaking idea; let's just talk about dieting now shall we?

Yes we shall. =D

Every guy would no doubt at some point or other in his life want to date a pretty girl. I mean, which guy out there wants to date an ugly girl. But don't get me wrong, i'm not calling any girl ugly. I don't believe in calling girls ugly, they just all look different that's all. To each his own. So yeah, every dude wants to date a pretty girl. I'm pretty sure that the opposite sex is quite aware that the male brain works in this way. Male are a lot more visual in comparison to females, that's a fact. Well, i speak from experience: my head turns whenever i see a pretty girl. People who know me will tell you that, but that's not the point. Now that girls know how we think, they would no doubt want to look all attractive and stuff so that guys'll come after them. It just so happens that being thin happens to be on part of the criteria to be considered 'attractive'. In order to be thin, they starve themselves. For whose sake? Their own? I'm not totally sure about that.

Here comes the interesting part. Have you ever walked down Orchard Road and seen a couple walked past you? Yeah i'm sure you've seen many. But have you seen one where the girl's mega attractive and the guy's quite the opposite? Pisses you off doesn't it. It just means one thing though - girls look for a lot more in a guy other than just his outward appearence. I mean, what the hell, i've seen a guy with horrible body odour going out with this really pretty girl and the girl didn't mind one bit. She must've been having a really bad runny nose or maybe she's probably in the relationship just for the money. <- That's just the cynical me talking. But i wouldn't be surprised if that was the case though, that guy seriously needed cleansing on a higher level. That aside, its just obvious how differently males and females think. Now comes the million dollar question: Why can't we guys be like girls? How many times have you heard a friend telling you 'that girl's damn hot!'? Definitely more than once. Ever heard a guy telling you 'wow she's got awesome personality'? I'd daringly say, RARELY. To be perfectly honest about it, the first thing that makes you notice a girl would no doubt be their looks. Girls don't walk around with personality charts floating above their heads. If they did it'd be great but yeah, that doesn't happen. However, if getting to know the girl for more than a few weeks still makes you like that girl just cause she's hot and all that, there's something wrong with you. You freaking sex maniac.

So there, i was just thinking about that. No particular reason. I just was. Once again, remember to vote for Nat on her blog! You'll find her under my links.

2007-03-28T21:52:00.000+08:00

I happened to visit Hansel's blog for no particular reason, and i saw this on his blog. Go try it. This is what came up.

You are seeking protection against anything which might seem to be exhausting you or tiring you out. It would appear that you are seeking a life of security and physical ease, free from any problem or disturbance.

You are working extremely hard trying to improve your image in the eyes of others. You are looking for acknowledgement from your peers and those who come into your sphere of influence. You want to be liked, not for what people think of you but for what you really are.

Everything seems to have gone wrong and the situation at this time is such that you are not quite sure which way to turn. So it would appear that you are 'holding back', re-consolidating your position and relinquishing all fun and games for the time being.

Your stress and anxiety are a result of an emotional disappointment. It could well be that the emotional relationship is no longer running smoothly and you have come to the end of your tether. On the one hand you would like to free yourself from this relationship altogether, yet on the other hand, you don't want to lose anything nor risk the uncertainty of throwing away something - something that's precious, something that could be the 'Real Thing'. Perhaps for the first time in your life you really don't know which way to go and it is these contradictory emotions that are causing you the untold stress. You are pretending to the world that you don't care but even this air of pretence is causing you much heartache.

You are moody and depressed at this time but it will pass. All of your hopes and dreams seem to have gone astray and you are fearful of planning further for the future. Disappointment at the non fulfilment of your hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety and you try to escape from this by withdrawing into yourself. But that is not the answer. You have the power to succeed, believe in yourself... all is possible to him who believes.

Crazy scary.

But not all of it is true. For example, i'm not moody or depressed and i'm not vying for everyone's attention. All this i can do without. The rest of it is just too accurate to be true.

Well, the weird thing is, many of us complain all the time that no one understands us. This is true, definitely, but only to a certain extent. The sad part is that the first one to understand what really goes through in your life is a computer programme, and not even your closest friends.

Sad huh.

2007-03-25T22:39:00.000+08:00

Listening to Praise & Worship makes me wanna cry.

EVERLASTING, YOUR LIGHT WILL SHINE WHEN ALL ELSE FADES ..

damn. zach its your fault i started listening to this song. >.<

2007-03-25T00:00:00.000+08:00

Alright. I was initially going to post about something but i decided that such things are best forgotten and left alone.

When you launch a missle at another country, what happens? Let's say my friend in Toa Payoh (yeah marcus i'm referring to you. you're the only sadistic dude i can think of right now) decides to fire a missle at my home. He shoots it. Blasts a hole through my home. Maybe my entire family perishes in the fire. Over here someone is crying but over there he might be laughing. Why? Cause he doesn't know what its like to be me and have a missle shot at my home.

Disclaimer: The above example is purely fictional and has no form of truth whatsoever in it. Marcus would never do such a thing. Its just to illustrate a point that will come later.

Lately i've been hearing a lot of things around school. You'd be surprised what you'll manage to pick up when you walk around school everyday, the bits and pieces of conversation about things that matter and the things that don't. But what always gets heads turning and tongues wagging would be juicy gossip about this certain someone and that certain someone and that certain something that they've been doing. True or not, it doesn't really matter, so long its able to induce a certain level of interest in the conversation's participants, that's all that matter. Some people may argue and assert that its such things that make school life interesting and all that. Adding colour and spice. Yeah whatever. I beg to differ.

People do things for different reasons. Every action has its purpose. Sometimes we do things just because we want to be entertained, because we don't like a certain someone, or merely just so we can disguise an emotion we're afraid to show.

When we do something for entertainment, at what and whose expense do we do it?

Making someone the subject of a conversation may be entertaining for us if we find many things to talk about. Out of boredom, we decide that a little bit of exxaggeration should increase the entertainment factor of the conversation by maybe, threefold? Nope that's not enough, so how about we just make everything up totally and not give a shit what's true and what isn't? Yeah, that's just about right. How many of us are guilty of this?

Bullets fly in only one direction, and they always have their target. When they do find their targets, can we ever know what its like to be that target? No, never. People become our objects of entertainment when we find fun in spreading things like rumours about them. What we never realise is that when such things happen, questions are always asked. Not to the person who spread that rumour, but the person who's the subject of that rumour. And when that subject has no idea what the hell is going on, it gets weird, agitating and confusing. At the same time, the person spreading the rumour's having fun doing it. What's more, it really makes you wonder when the subject of that rumour is the instigator's friend. So when our friends aren't looking, we shoot them in the back of their head and laugh at them when they're crawling away. That's friendship i'm sure. Get the sarcasm.

I'm not typing this out for any particular reason. I just wonder from time to time why people do certain things and what satisfaction they get out of it. Is it really all that fun and exciting watching someone else suffer? Maybe these people tap on human suffering for pleasure. I don't know. Don't ask me, i can't relate to such behaviour.

On a completely different note, vote for Nat when you're free! Go anti-dieting!

Out there a little boy stumbles past an advertisement with its 3million dollar models looking down on him. People continue to walk past him in their coats and ties; no one stops to ask the boy in rags when he last ate, where he slept last night, or where mummy went. They have other things to worry about. I'm late for work. My boss is gonna whip my ass. We can't worry about poor homeless children now. It can't be so bad being homeless, he'll figure something out. They've never been poor. They don't know what its like to feed your stomach with bread you can only look at. The little boy feasts on sight alone. And yet they'll never know what its like. Yet its not wrong for the little boy to hope that someday, all this might change. That the world will grow less cruel. Even park benches can be slept on. Maybe something more in time to come. Its not wrong to hope.

2007-03-18T23:06:00.000+08:00

Back to school in 8 hours ! I'm getting all excited already. Anyhow, i'm tempted to just churn out a mega emo post about how time flies and all that sentimental stuff. But then again, i guess we all wish we could've done one thing or another but somehow didn't manage to. So how? HOW !?

Suck your thumb like a baby and move on.

But don't cry, june holidays are coming. Just make sure you don't make promises you know you won't keep again. A little like how at the end of every year we make new year resolutions that a lot of us never keep anyway. The things we do for fun eh?

That's some sense of humour. Here's a little something to give everyone who's all sad and stuff now some hope. Remember, not everything is what it seems to be. Things may go your way some day. Or maybe everyone'll just lose out. Its your choice i guess.

Happy holidays! Or at least the few hours that're left of it. =D

2007-03-16T23:49:00.000+08:00

I just realised how good it'd feel if we humans could just disregard our own reputation and everything along those lines to do whatever stupid things we wanted to. Like say you could kill your neighbour's dog if you'd always wanted to. Lock your little brother up and poke him to death with a pencil. Horribly retarded but nonetheless cheap thrills that always give you the satisfaction you so crazily crave for!

So yeah, go do something stupid right now! Take that pellet gun (if you still have one of those, i don't know if they sell them anymore) and shoot the first bird you see that flies past your window. Or maybe you could grab your electric guitar and play your grandma some crazy riff off a Children of Bodom album or something. Or maybe some Eric Clapton! Whatever.

2007-03-14T23:59:00.000+08:00

There's this little arrow thing at the top-left hand corner of my blog and i've got no idea what it is or how to get rid of it. But whatever, it doesn't make me incapable of walking so i'm totally okay tolerating that puny midget arrow. It probably thinks its all awesome and stuff that its high up there and i can't get rid of it, but hey, it doesn't know its just a stupid arrow.

Anyway, i changed the layout, wanted to create some picture to put at the top (points to the top) but i gave up cause i couldn't think of anything. So i just did this thing in like, 5 minutes. For all i know, its probably gonna remain there for forever but right now i couldn't really care less.

I want to sleep and nothing anyone does or says is gonna stand between me and my sleep.

2007-03-13T23:27:00.000+08:00

If everything in the world could be mine, i wouldn't take it. Because that would include all the pain & suffering that could ever exist in this universe. Everyone of us want only the good things, and no one can blame us for being this way. But only with a little pain does the learning begin. And when that pain becomes unbearable, you don't keep your mouth shut, bear the weight of the world on your shoulders and try to move on. You won't make it on your own, and we all know it. So what do you do?

You share it.

Ever wondered why the earth's population amounts to 6 billion and counting?

Everyone's existence has a purpose. No one lives a pointless existence; we're all here for a reason. So don't throw that away. Don't deny what you know could help you. Its not worth it.

And then we start worrying that we were the ones who caused the problem in the first place.

That maybe if we didn't exist then all this wouldn't have happened.

2007-03-12T22:34:00.000+08:00

I slept at 5am yesterday! And all because i was watching Troy. But its alright. Cause for the who knows how many time running, i got to see human stupidity at work.

You know, if Paris didn't let his lust get the better of him, all that people wouldn't have died. I mean, Hector didn't deserve to die. It wasn't even his fault Patroclus was so desperate to fight random idiots who did him no wrong and stole Achilles' armor and stuff. It was Patroclus' own stupidity. And who paid the price? Hector did, just cause Achilles wanted revenge. Not as though that would bring Patroclus back.

And Paris is such an asshole. If only he hadn't decided to bring Helen with him, that whole war wouldn't have started. He calls it love, but honestly, i think it isn't. For the sake of every naked mole rat that lives, all the movie showed was the two of them naked! How can we possibly think its love when all that Helen and Paris ever do is sleep with each other! Doesn't take a lot to want to take your clothes off for someone who's willing to do the same for you does it! I'm sure Paris was totally thinking with his dick and not his brain when he decided to do something THAT stupid. The result: Troy burned to the ground.

So let's just put it this way.

Achilles lost his cousin.
Hector died before his time.
Troy burned to the ground.

Why?

Because Paris decided having sex with Helen was more important.

Kingdoms have fallen because of women. Why do men forget that their brains are there for a reason?

2007-03-11T21:40:00.000+08:00

Humans rely so much on so many things. Yet when those things fail them, they blame those things. And really, whose fault is it? Well for one, you could've just done it yourself instead of putting your faith in something inanimate. Then when things happen, we blame it on fate. Or destiny. Whatever you wanna call it.

Honestly, i think fate and destiny is a lot of bullshit. Living isn't about just living and leaving everything to a higher power. If that higher power wants it that way, then so be it? That speaks a lot about willpower and drive doesn't it. I guess then we're all incapable of making our own decisions. Rather, life's about choices. You make the right choice or the wrong choice, and you live with the outcome - or the consequence. If we're gonna keep blaming fate, then i guess at least we should know that fate's got a real cruel sense of humour, it bites and it doesn't let go.

2007-03-02T22:24:00.000+08:00

When we do something, we suffer the consequences of our actions. It doesn't matter if we did it out of irrationality or boredom. At times, we say that 'it seemed like a good idea at the time'. All these aren't reasons, neither are they excuses. They're merely attempts to avoid shouldering the blame when consequences of your actions come back to haunt you when you least expect it. If you attract criticism because of something you did, and you think you were justified, it doesn't change the fact that you did it. Its a bit like saying, 'When i see so much hate going on around me, i try to remember that people have what they THINK are good reasons'. What you think may not be necessarily true. So if something comes round to bite your ass, quit complaining, you asked for it.

That's the reality of life. Its not that i've never noticed or realised that, it just seemed to appear extra bright to me today. Why? I have no idea.

It takes a lot to realise something; even more to acknowledge it; even more to decide to do something about it; even more to do it; even more to be committed to it; the most to stay committed even if things don't work out your way.

2007-02-28T19:49:00.000+08:00

People around you change all the time. For me, i've come to the realisation that people around me, people that i know, people that i don't but have noticed around, never change for the better. When they do change, they change for the worse. If not they don't change at all. This whole thing about change has finally just struck me because of not one, but many many things around me that've been happening. How people become arrogant, how they neglect everything you've done for them because of selfish intentions, how they think they're right all the time and simply refuse to accept a paradigm shift. Or they just become indifferent. Well, i guess the truth hurts, we all hate pain, and we hate it when others are right and we're not. Yeah i know, i can relate to that.

That might be what some of us want, but is that what we really want?

This post isn't here because i'm trying to arrow anyone. Had i decided to post with that intention in mind, i would have been a lot more direct. But you see, i'm not. Sometimes, we all just need to say or do things to release whatever frustration or stress we feel about certain things. Its strangely liberating. Just like how spouting vulgarities isn't right, but you have to admit its awesome for making you feel better when you're pissed off and all. Bad, but nonetheless effective.

I guess at one time or another in our lives, we'd wish that we could do certain things without a conscience. To criticise someone without feeling bad about it, to put aside something that isn't worth the effort in exchange for something else. Sometimes it works out, sometimes regret is all we get in return. This is not an emo post. I just need to say stuff because i, like many others, wish that for once, i could do something without hating myself for it after that.

When someone owes his life to you, you hate to use that against him. But then again you want to because you need to get what you deserve. At the same time, you hate to sink to his level to do what he does; manipulating human emotions. And for once in your life, you just wish you didn't care. You can't help being human.

2007-02-25T22:49:00.000+08:00

I just noticed that i haven't posted in a while. Okay maybe not a while but a LONG while. Normally i'd feel all guilty about it since keeping a blog does to a certain extent mean that you update regularly right? I mean, you do need to keep your readers and not turn them off by not giving them anything worth reading. But i guess you get over things like that when you have a whole lot of other things to worry about. Uh huh. If you think this is heading in the direction of an emo post, don't worry its not! All my emo thoughts are locked up and allowed to wander only through the realms of my brain. I don't blog about such sensitive stuff. Best left in the vault.

Okay so now i'll go straight to the point. I'm posting now only to say that i'll post soon! I'm not in the mood to post now, and haven't been for the past 10? days. I hope i'll update soon. When i can. Yep. In the meantime go read the comics on my bro's blog or something. =/

2007-02-15T20:24:00.000+08:00

Tagrush! I might've missed out some tags but hey, its not my fault the tagboard has limited space and doesn't display everything right? Right. So i'll start from 29th Jan. Heh. That's like what, 15 days ago? -shrugs.

jemy wong:
what's wrong with not censoring bastard? you might wanna try every single word in the english dictionary to find out which one they didn't censor!

thanks, i know my parents are interesting. least you could do was spell 'freaking' properly.

edgaaa:
heh. cheap thrill.

louisa:
i did it on purpose! can't you tell? maybe you're still young and your brain isn't that developed yet!

glen:
chinese? i think hearing more like it la.

mrSam:
i never said anything about not liking chinese! =/

hansel:
eh make up your mind. who's the one with the problem? the guy or the girl? if you ask me, i'd say the girl's perfectly fine. the dude's got issues.

leihoi:
as good as ever!

victor:
i'm going to force myself to laugh here.
-pauses for 5 seconds and tries really hard
-burps

basket, not even your parents how can talk about them like that! wanna die is it.

bel:
haha thanks, i'm sure my parents will be very happy to know that's what you think of them.

zach:
thanks! it happens all the time. that's the result of having two male teenagers in the house. hahaha.

zhenhe:
whoops. totally forgot that teachers blogsurf. nevermind, we'll worry about it when the time comes. thanks for the heads up anyway! and no my parents don't rock. if they did, they wouldn't be able to move from one side of the house to the other without falling down and breaking something.

jit yong:
i can't even see past my own shoulder, how to watch my back!

-

Okay that's it. Not a lot, but enough. I guess.

For all those of you out there who have spent Valentine's alone and had no choice but to buy yourself chocolate since no one bought for you, no sweat! If you're thinking of yourself as a Romantic Reject, its alright! Chocolate will make you happy. And so, buy more chocolate. Go down to your nearest candy shop and grab a bar of Hershey's or Kit Kat and give that chocolate to a loved one. Even if that loved one is yourself, just give yourself that chocolate. No one else may love you, but at least you love yourself; so show that love with that chocolate! There's no better way to show love than to do it through chocolate. Right? Absolutely. Although you're buying yourself chocolate with YOUR OWN money, its alright! Chocolate will save the world one day, just you wait!

If you noticed, almost every sentence in the previous paragraph has the word 'chocolate' in it. And something tells me i did it on purpose. Hee.

2007-02-14T15:11:00.000+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Got this picture off Snafu Comics. Hope ya'll got lots of choco! =D

You can click to enlarge the picture if you haven't realised !

2007-02-10T21:07:00.000+08:00

Interesting things happen to me all the time, and you know, i kinda find that life isn't that boring at all. At this age, i guess its probably normal and even in way, "cool" to say that life sucks. And when we say such things, most of the time, there isn't anyone to blame but ourselves. Teenagers tend to find all kinds of ways and means to torture themselves, to make as much shit fall from the sky as possible. Sometimes when the shit doesn't fall on us, and falls on someone else instead, we get into even MORE shit. But that's what we want isn't it. A horribly twisted way of thinking but hey, don't we all enjoy proclaiming that life sucks before going on to bitch/gossip/complain about the most trivial of things. Not forgetting how we like to add our own salt and pepper to blow things out of proportion just to impress/amuse other people.

Yeah, whatever.

Anyway, i'm not going to start ranting about how life sucks. Why? Let's just put it this way: it doesn't.

The other day we were having extra lessons in school and my teacher was talking about how she was sacrificing her lunch period to give us extra lessons. And i said, "EH Ms ___, its good for you what! You need to lose weight. YOU'RE FAT." THEN SHE MADE ME SIT ON THE FLOOR. Well, i wasn't so much upset about being made to sit on the floor, but i'm sure you're all aware how troublesome it is to wash white pants! Not that i'm complaining about the uniform or anything. But at least its not vomit-green. Rather white than vomit-green any day. That was one hilarious incident and as someone said, ONE OF A KIND. Yep, definitely. =D hahaha.

Just today in the car, my mum was talking about her new guitar teacher. She was telling my dad and i about how she'll need to file her nails both on the inside and the outside to achieve better tones while playing (she plays classical). And then along the way home, my dad commented on how everyone has a dvd player in the car now. So he and my mum started talking about how everyone was having new things, new toys, expensive toys. Then i'm not sure who was it who mentioned about keeping mistresses, considering that those are um, toys as well. And this is how the rest of it went ..

dad, "no money how to keep mistress. want also cannot."
me, "no money to keep 2, doesn't mean cannot keep 1."
mum, "don't keep la. be."
me, "yeah no money to keep mistress, then be toyboy la"
dad, "so old already, cannot."
me, "the thing is not how old, as long as you're not dysfunctional."
mum, "ya, must make sure equipment working can already."
me, "yep, must keep it well oiled. then everyday must take out to check for tone."
mum, "then if tone not good must file. not only must file outside, also must file inside!"

(mum bursts out in uncontrolled laughter)

mum, "yeah must use sandpaper, not the 600 kind. must make sure at least 1000 and above. if not sure get abrasion!"

(laughs somemore)

me, "abrasion nevermind. just make sure you don't get a second hole. one hole still normal, two holes then you know there's something wrong."

Seriously, what's wrong with my parents.

(in case you didn't know, sandpaper comes in different grades. the smaller the number, the coarse-er it is. so higher grade = smoother.)

A magnet does not need to touch a piece of magnetic material to induce magnetism in it. Likewise with chemistry. Sometimes, seeing isn't everything.

2007-02-03T23:53:00.000+08:00

How stupid can people get sometimes? The answer is, VERY STUPID. And i'm gonna back my argument up in PEE format. Point. Explain. Example. Back to basics formula for answering lit questions. Alright here goes.

Point: We all do stupid things.

Explain: Sometimes, we do things for no apparent reason. We do things just because at that point in time, we might've been jaded or spaced out and really couldn't give a damn what was going on. Someone tells us to do something, and we just do it without much consideration about the consequences or outcome. In other cases, we might just think of that something all of a sudden, and we just do it. We don't know why, but we just do it. Stupidity in action because of our own ignorance.

Example: You know, if you have newspaper delivered to your doorstep everyday, once in a while there'll be people that come to collect the money for the newspaper right? Right. So just now, this lady came to my place to collect the money. And she said, $22.70. She said it in chinese, which sounds something like this, err-shi-er kuai, qi mao. (Actually you'll be able to understand this better if you speak the chinese language) Weirdly, the first thing that came to my mind was, $22 dollars and seven cents .. SEVEN CENTS !? Who the hell collects 7 CENTS anymore! But i thought, since she wants it, i'll just give her the 7 cents. When i did, guess what happened. SHE LAUGHED AT ME. STUPID WOMAN LAUGHED AT ME. Okay maybe not stupid, but she laughed at me! Okay so maybe i was the blur one but that's not the point!

So here's a perfect illustration of when stupidity strikes and you just don't know why.

Once upon a time, there was a boy & a girl.
Boy, "When i look at you, i see the prettiest girl i've ever seen and will ever see."
Girl, "And?"
Boy, "And i remember why i love you."
Girl, "That's a stupid reason for you to love me."

2007-02-02T22:05:00.000+08:00

I almost wanted to stick to the 7 day post interval thing but i decided not to since it was pissing random people off. Not that i've actually cared much for what people like and don't like that goes on on my blog but i thought, customer satisfaction has to be granted to a certaine extent right? However irritated i might be by comments or whatsoever. Anyway, nothing much's been happening. Nothing good, nothing bad. What that also means is, nothing to post. But then again, that's not exactly true, considering that i'm sitting here posting.

Just a few days ago, we had this piece of work to do in English class. It was pairwork and we were supposed to write a letter of complain. Today that piece of work came back and my teacher kinda highlighted the problem in my (& my friend's) letter.

I wrote, "What i found extremely unacceptable was the fact that the television screen blanked out for no apparent reason while i was entertaining some guests at my home. It left me in a very compromising situation.".

And my teacher thought that was absolutely hilarious cause like, "DOESN'T THAT STATEMENT GIVE THE IDEA OF SOMETHING SEXUAL?"

Well, all i could manage was, "WTF. Teacher's brains aren't exactly all that clean and innocent are they." Pffft.

This other day, my friend and i were boarding the bus, and we had this erm, very interesting conversation.

Friend, "I should top up $8 in my EZ link card. Because i have 88cents left inside."
Me, "You should like do it on the 8th day of the 8th month"
Friend, "Yeah, at 8 o' clock right."
Me, "Mhm. And you can sell it for $80 dollars."
Friend, "On the 8th day of the 8th month."
Me,"Yep. At 8 o' clock."
Friend, "..."
Me, "... ..."
Friend, "Where're you planning to go after O levels?"
Me, "Home."
Friend, "..."

People like to tell you that if you want to do something, do it NOW. I find that easy to believe and understand. But i find it easier to believe that regret will kick in and make you feel stupid for a very long time after.

2007-01-28T23:16:00.000+08:00

If you've actually spent the time or whatever little effort it takes to go and notice, all my previous posts have been in multiples of 7. Okay maybe not all, but ever since the 7th of Jan. Not that this is supposed to have any particular significance, but i'm just saying. FYI, or just so you know kind. And no post today (all the words here don't count), i'm so tired i can't believe i'm still here, i'm starting to doubt i'm even human. Or maybe that's supposed to be a good thing. =D

Alright, and if you've been wondering why i haven't been posting, i've been doing it on purpose so all my posts can be in multiples of 7. HA. So there you have it, i'll probably be posting more regularly from now on. Probably. Which also, in another language called wordplay, means HOPEFULLY.

In the meantime, enjoy life while it lasts !

2007-01-21T22:48:00.000+08:00

The SJI International Orientation Camp was definitely one heck of an experience. I gotta say it was hell of a difference from SJI, but nonetheless, i think we made it work and everything came out awesome. Haha, i don't think i can actually say anymore. I'll drive myself nuts trying to.

sexy and ready to roll

2007-01-14T09:55:00.000+08:00

When you say that you want something, do you even know what you want it for? Are your intentions sincere and not to a certent extent, malicious and destructive?

I guess its important that before we want something, we should know why we want it and what we're getting into. Because if we don't, we're just gonna jump in guns blazing and end up getting caught off-guard not knowing what we're actually doing. After establishing that, what comes next? Can we actually be sure that we'll get what we want? The answer's quite simple and straightforward actually. Its NO. Is will alone enough to get you what you want? Its not. There are other forces at work here and that's a reality. Life was never kind to any soul on earth, and every single thing achieved had at least a certain amount of effort put into it.

You get what you want and you're happy. But, what if, WHAT IF, you do not get what you want? Do you just pack up and leave the scene, or stay behind to make sure that we bring down this whole society that won't take you in? Let's take a look at the 2nd option.

For a lot of us, we have this mentality that if a certain group, or even student board in school for that matter, doesn't take you in, we're justified to declare war to ensure the demise of that board.

Good call? No, i condemn that mentality.

Everything has its reasons for happening, and right at that point of rejection, all we see is red, and not the black and white. We're pissed off that things don't go the way we want despite the conviction we have or the amount of effort we're willing to invest. What does that show. That the student board made its biggest mistake ever by not taking you in? That by not taking you in, the board set itself on the road to suicide. Maybe that's true. But then again, MAYBE NOT. And right now, i'd like to go with the maybe not.

Alright, we're sincere and we want to help. However, the chance isn't presented to us on a silver dish with chocolate sauce all over it. What are we gonna do about it. Shoot down that student board? Everytime someone from that student board comes to us for help, we reject them and say that we have problems with them? Wouldn't that be horribly apt to be qualified as hypocrisy since we in the first place wanted to be in that same student body to extend our help? And now we're not doing anything but making sure that that student board is burnt to the ground and swept away by the wind.

Good call? You must be highly lacking in your morals to think that way.

Let's put all of this into context.

And sji prefect isn't able to become a peer support facilitator for some reason or another. And he's pissed off. Because of that, any peer support facilitator that goes to him for help is given the cold shoulder. To be completely honest about this, i actually know what its like to not be somewhere, but be asked to help someone who comes from there. Its a screwed up, disgusting feeling. Now, let's reflect. His intentions was to join the PSFs so he could help out. But he didn't get in. A PSF goes to him for help. Should he help?

I think he should.

Why?

Because his intentions in the first place was to help the peer support board wasn't it? Is he going to say no and have the word hypocrite placed over his head in neon lighting? I don't think he actually wants that for himself.

If the dude came from somewhere that preached moral values that were upheld, displayed and acted out in word and deed, i'd have no issue with him making noise. BUT, the prefectorial board isn't exactly the epitome of school values. It isn't. That's the truth.

I'll just quote one example. The school rules state that handphones should only be used in certain areas of the school. I've seen people flaunting the green tie flouting this rule openly.

Good call? Think again.

Are the prefects in any positon to criticise the peer support board? I think not.

So before we point fingers to shoot everyone down, we should check ourselves. Check me, check you.

2007-01-07T20:17:00.000+08:00

-coughs.

-coughs somemore.

-coughs even more.

i realised that i was coughing on the 28th of dec. last year and i haven't stopped since. which means, i'm still coughing now. and that's weird, because i don't remember being able to cough for such a long time. that doesn't mean i've been coughing nonstop since that day, obviously i've stopped here and there, in little bits and breaks. if you think i'm looking for sympathy, no i'm not. i'm just saying this as a statement. something like "for your information" or "did you know" and the only reaction that is required is an "oh okay". yup. this interesting phenomenon can be explained by .. whatever. i can't think of anything to say anymore and i'm just too lazy to do research on coughing so i can't explain why i've been coughing for such a long time on end. maybe i'll die from coughing. yeah. that'll be painful. OH SHIT.

*spelling & grammatical errors corrected by jesse.

2007-01-05T01:38:00.000+08:00

BOOYA. Its 1:39 and i kinda just realised i'm blogging on wireless. HM.

so anyway,

my ~~HOT~~ friend eugene lee boon khiang is next to me.
watching me blog.
wanting me to put his name on my blog.
HOPING to be famous.

i'm logging off in 15 seconds so by the time i'm done typing this sentence i would've gone past my 15 seconds so that means i'll be going off right about NOW. cyaa.

2007-01-03T21:17:00.000+08:00

It would be horribly appropriate if i was to start an incredibly long and ridiculous rant on how the first day of school really sucked and all because SHIT DAMN WE HAVE HOMEWORK! But its not meant to be. If you didn't understand what that meant, basically it means that i'm not gonna start complaining about the first day of school. Why? Because for one i think its totally pointless, and for two, i mean secondly, it isn't gonna change anything. It isn't gonna make magnetism disappear from the physics syllabus or magically transform chinese into my favourite subject. Okay so maybe i don't hate chinese that much (i predict a cruel death awaiting me after this statement), but well, just to emphasise my point. You know, make it clear enough kind. Yep.

When i woke up this morning, it didn't feel as though i was going back to school. Let's see, you're supposed to get all jumpy and excited cause its the first day of school right !? Back to school, back to school ... -trails off in sing song adam sandler voice. WRONG. No that ain't a typo, i said it once and i'll say it again, WRONG. Its like you've got 5 minutes before you enter the battlefield to fight a war which would decide the fate of your country, and yet you've got time to ask for butter with your scrambled eggs, lactose free milk with your coffee, and conditioner + after shower treatment along with your shampoo. Sheesh, its like, i dunno, it feels kinda screwed up. Maybe its supposed to be like that. -shrugs

shrugs again.

ph33r th3 p0w3r in teh 5hrug !

shrugs.

2007-01-01T20:12:00.000+08:00

Nice long post.

INTRODUCTION:

Full Name: Wong JW Julian

Birthday: 5th March 1991

Birthplace: Singapore

Eye Colour: Black-ish Brown

Hair Colour: Black

Height: 1.70m

Weight: 55kg

Right handed or

Left handed? Right!

Your Heritage: Chinese (someone along the family line might've slept around. -shrugs)

My Worst Habit: Not watching what i say.

Zodiac Sign: Pisces - fishy !

Shoe Size: 9

Parents Still Together? Yep

The Footwear You Wore Today: Slippers

Your Weakness: Myself

Your Fears: Opinions of others, failure, cutting hair.

Your Perfect Pizza: so long the crust, bread thingy, cheese & sauce is good.

Your Most Overused Phrase On An Instant Messenger: do emoticons count? -> =/, =S, =D

Thoughts First Waking Up: is there school today !?

Your Best Physical Feature: Hair!

Your Bedtime: Varies

Your Most Missed Memory: Almost everyday.

MY FAVOURITES:

Favourite Colour? Grey, orange?
Food? Jap.
Sport? GYM. (yeah right)
Animal? Eagle.
Ice Cream? Pistacho.
Candy? GUMMY BEARS.
Store? The street markets in Thailand.
Salad Dressing? Thousand Island.
Actor/Actress?
Song? Machine Gun Man (Acoustic) - Zakk Wylde
Letter? Z
Number? 69 (don't think funny!)
Holiday? so far, thailand!
Season? Spring/Autumn
Toothpaste Flavour? What flavours do they have? Chocolate?
Radio Station? 96.3
Perfume? don't use perfume, its for the opposite sex.
Body Part Of The Opposite Sex? Face.

FRIENDS AND LIFE:

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up? I still wanna continue being male !
How Do You Want To Die? Not in some violent OUCH-ish way.
Turn ons: Cruel sense of humour & good conversation.
Turn offs: Loud-ness.
Which One Of Your Friends Acts The Most Like You? Depends a lot on the situation.
Who's The Loudest? sam koh.
Who Makes You Laugh The Most? the dude in my head called The Brain.
Who Have You known The Longest? God.
Who's The Shyest? No i-dea.
When Have You Cried The Most? When i was a baby probably.
What Is The Best Feeling In the World? Happiness.
Worst Feeling? Needing to shit but having no toilet.
Where Do You Want To Live When You Grow Up? A ranch somewhere in New Zealand with lots and lots of grass.
If You Could Change One Thing About You, What Would It Be? Right now, I WANT MY HAIR TO GROW BACK.
How Long Do You Think You'll Live? Definitely to about 9:30 later.

HAVE YOU EVER:

Been In Love? Maybe, maybe not. Love goes a lot deeper than what most people think today.

Been In Juvie? <- WTH's this !?

Mooned Someone? Myself? haha nope.

Been Rejected? Yep, why can't everyone just be nice and let me copy homework! OR GIVE ME THEIR GUMMY BEARS.

Ran Away From Home? Yeah. Oh wait, camps & chalets count right?

Skipped School? Nope. Does Cath class count? (if so, Yes)

Thought About Suicide: I'm always wondering why people do it.

Slept Outside? Of course, in a tent.

Laughed So Hard You Cried? YES, its fun!

Cried In School? Yup, when i yawn in class.

Thrown Up In School? Nope.

Wanted To Be A Model? Forget it.

Cheated On Someone? I'm cruel but not THAT CRUEL.

Done Something Really Stupid That You Still Laugh At Today? Of course.

Seen A Dead Body? Birds count?

Drank Alcohol? Yeap.

Smoke? Second-hand smoking's the same thing right.

Been On Drugs? Yeah, whenever i go to the doctor for medication.

Eaten Sushi? -nods head

Been On Stage? Mhm.

Gone Skinny Dipping? In my own bathroom at home!

Shoplifted? Nope

Been Drunk? Me drunk !? Haha nah.

Been Beaten Up? Not yet, but been in a fight's the closest.

DO YOU:

Swear? When i'm happy or irritated.

Sing Well? i sure hope so!

Shower Daily? Usually.

Want To Go To College? Yep

Want To Get Married? Yep, either to the church or a woman.

Believe In Yourself? -nods head

Get Motion Sickness? Nope

Think You Are Attractive? I'll let others be the judge of that!

Get Along With Your Parents? Yeppers!

Like Thunderstorms? As long as they don't disturb my sleep i don't hate 'em.

Play An Instrument? Yes

Own An Ipod? Does a blended one count? Okay kidding, no i don't.

Pray? Mhm.

Go To Church? Yep.

Sleep With Stuffed Animals? All the time.

Keep A Journal/Diary? Nope.

Dance In The Rain? Never. Does fake rain count? As in, rain that doesn't even exist.

Sing In The Shower? Nope.

THIS OR THAT:

Pepsi or Coke? Neither.

McDonald's or Burger King? BK!

Single or Group Dates? Group.

Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla. Though i still love choco a lot.

Strawberries or Blueberries? Blueberries.

Meat or Veggie? Veggie!

TV or Movie? Movie

Guitar or Drums? Guitar

Adidas or Nike? CONVERSE. =D

Chinese or Mexican? Both. I don't want the communists after me. The mexicans are just as dangerous.

Cheerios or Corn Flakes? Cheerios!

Cake or Pie? Pie.

MTV or VH1? VH1 (i really like storytellers!)

Blind or Deaf? Deaf

Boxers or briefs? Boxers definitely.

CAN YOU:

Do Splits? Almost there.

Write With Both Hands?

Of course, but the left hand writes shit ugly.

Whistle? Yep, with a whistle in my mouth.

Blow A Bubble? Yep, with those soap bottle thingys you get for $1.

Roll YOur Tongue In A Circle? Nope, what for. heh

Cross Your Eyes? Nah can't. W

alk With Your Toes Curled? Yep but ouch.

Touch Your Nose With Your Tongue? eeyer. no.

Dance? I can try.

Eat Whatever You Want And Not Worry? haha, of course.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON:

You Touched? Mummy

You Talked To On The Phone? Jemy Wong asking if there's legion tomorrow.

You Text-ed? my maid (inside joke!)

You Instant Messaged? Eugene.

You Hugged? My pillow i think.

You Yelled At? Marcus, for saying something incredibly mean.

You Played A Sport With? Can't remember.

WHAT'S THE LAST:

Time You Laughed? In the car, just now.

Time You Cried? p6 i think.

Movie You Watched? The Holiday.

Flavour Of Gum You Chewed? Watermelon.

Joke You Told? Can't remember.

Song You've Sung? Hospitality - Funeral For A Friend

RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT:

Where Are You? On earth, at home, in my room.
What Can You See Out Your Window? Blocks, the highway. Sky's all dark.
Are You Listening To Music? Goo Goo Dolls - Feel The Silence
What Are You Wearing? T shirt, shorts, underwear.
What's On Your Mousepad? I don't believe in using mousepads.

BELIEFS:

Do You Believe There Is Life On Other Planets? Yep. I want aliens to come and enslave all humanity one day.
Do You Believe In Miracles? Yep.
Magic? Nope, magic is all fake.
Love At First Sight? Depends on your definition of love. Personally i think its bullshit.
God? Yep. He's in me & you.
Satan? Yep, he's everywhere.
Ghosts? Yep.
Santa? I try to.
Evolution? Of course. Science has proven it.

IN A GIRL...:

Favourite Eye Colour? Blue/green. Black/brown's fine.
Favourite Hair Colour? So long it looks alright.
Short or Long Hair? Anything goes. But i think i tend to lean towards long.
Height? Close to mine. But not taller than me. NO.
Weight? Doesn't really matter to me.
Best Clothing Style? Jeans makes everything look good.

RANDOM:

What Country Would You Most Like To Visit? Finland.
Number Of CDs I own: Not sure.
Your Good Luck Charm: don't believe in them.
How Many Pillows Do You Sleep With? 2 normal, 1 mini.
Do You Drink Milk? Every morning on non-school days.
Person You Hate Most? Myself.
Do You Think God has a gender? I heard he's bisexual (this isn't a joke).
Where Do YOU Think We Go When We Die? Our bodies will remain on earth and decompose i guess.
How Many Rings Until You Answer The Phone? Depends on whether i'm in the mood to talk.
Are You A Health Freak? You could say that.
What Is The Worst Weather? When it rains and everywhere's flooded.
Did You Play With Barbies As A Child? I vaguely remember.
How Many Grades Have You Failed? Lets see, 2?

Shit, that was freaking long.

2006-12-29T22:48:00.000+08:00

you know, this is kinda like the time when everyone looks back on the year to laugh at all the good times, and cry and contemplate suicide when looking back on all the angry, embarrassing, frustrated and what not moments. and i start to wonder, how come we all only start to look back when we come to the end, its kind of pointless don't you think. well, that's only half true. we look back now so that we can improve the future right? honestly, i cannot and will not put my confidence in such notions. that's because i know that whatever resolution i make now, i'll most likely not carry it out at all. so i guess at this point its probably better to acknowledge past wrongs/mistakes FIRST. we always gotta the first step before the leap right? right. i'll save my end-of-year emo-ed up post for some other time/day. right now i'm just feeling mega-paranoid so i'm not gonna blog anymore. do you ever wonder why you find no meaning in things, or find it stupid, yet still do it anyway?

i think that asking for privacy in a blog is an extremely amusing & hilarious idea. cyberspace is accessible to the entire world, your blog is on the internet where everyone can see it. asking for privacy is like walking naked down a street full of people and expecting people to not stare or react in anyway. seriously, are you trying to convince the zebra that its spotted and not striped? something tells me i've said this before.

2006-12-25T16:57:00.000+08:00

Given singapore's reputation of being a clean & green city and the government's efforts to uphold that image, naturally i'd be shocked to see orchard road in such a sorry state. Slum, ghetto, garbage dump, shithole, call it whatever you will, it all comes down to this - orchard road was disgustingly dirty in the morning when my dad drove through this morning. Being dirty is one thing, but being able to change someone's mind about wanting to walk down that road brings it to a whole new level. The funny thing is that, when people litter, do they actually do it because they know someone's gonna pick it up for them, or because their legs will collapse, fall apart and roll away from them at 200km/h if they even try walking that extra little bit to the litter bin. Or maybe we all have this mentality that its the thought that counts. "Oh i'd throw my litter in a bin if the bin was next to me, but since it isn't, i'll just throw it here. Come here litter bin, oh you don't wanna come? I'm not gonna go to you either." bullshit. Wanting is one thing, doing something about it is another. Just wanting alone is not enough. I wanna change the world and i'm gonna do it by just sitting right here, you think its gonna work? Wish me luck, sure as hell am i gonna need it.

On a merrier note, considering that its christmas, it really doesn't feel like christmas. Despite my previous post and me swearing to shoot down every single person who runs blogger if christmas actually came, it still came. Oh well. Not that i'm complaining. ha, i don't hate christmas, i hate that the year is ending.

2006-12-23T23:06:00.000+08:00

As little Toby walked down the street, everything didn't seem right. The walkway looked as though it slanted too much too the left, when it always seemed to be in perfect equilibrium. It wasn't even autumn and yet the number of leaves on the ground was unnerving, it was too much in abundance. In fact, they never even usually got autumn in that part of the country. The weather all year round was either, sun, rain, more sun or more rain. Now this didn't occur to little Toby as anything out of the ordinary, everything just seemed a little misplaced but it wasn't disturbing enough to sit down and think if all these could actually mean something significant. He decided to keep walking. And he followed up on that decision. He walked all the way to the end of the street without looking back once at the interestingly disturbing spectacle he had just witnessed. But now, something else felt as though it was out of sync. And he didn't quite know what it was.

-

Christmas is in two days and in all serious honesty, i don't want it to come.

2006-12-22T23:43:00.000+08:00

i believe that tobacco, caffeine and alcohol will make the perfect anti-depressant. Its like mixing kickapoo and rose syrup. how bad can it get? not bad at all. AGR tomorrow. damn i'm so not looking forward to it.

2006-12-19T22:33:00.000+08:00

Instructions: name 20 people you can think of at the top of your head.
dont read the questions below before you write and tag 5 people to do the survey.

1. Jemy Wong
2. Hansel
3. Melvin
4. Sonia
5. Chris teo
6. June
7. Marcus
8. Eugene
9. Edgar
10. Sam Koh
11. Derek
12. Fabby
13. Jit Yong
14. Alex
15. Aloy
16. Jun Siew
17. Zach
18. Hyo Seok
19. Charm
20. Mich

How did you meet 14? ALEX. can't remember. forgot when he tried to kill me with his bowling ball. heh. <-this is pure fiction.

What do you do if you never ever meet 1? JEMY WONG. i'd still be skipping gym after sec2.

What would you do if 20 and 9 dated? EDGAR & MICH. watch mich stab edgar to death cause if you think i'm retarded you won't survive edgar. =D

Did you ever like 19? CHARM. can't say. my life's in danger if i do(inside joke, haha you know i like you a lot right).

Would 6 and 1 make a good couple? JUNE & JEMY WONG. nah. one's protestant the other's catholic.

Describe 3. MELVIN. hyper over-reactive, disagrees with me 85% of the time.

Do you think 8 is attractive? EUGENE. everytime the dude catches me sms-ing someone he tells me to tell that person that i'm with my hot friend. attractive? go figure.

Say something abt 7. MARCUS. anything. -does head action.

Do you know any of 12's family members? FABBY. nope, but i know his brother's girlfriend is mega hot.

What's 18's favourite? HYO SEOK. kimchi !

What would you do if 11 confesses that he/she likes you? DEREK. pinch & poke him to death. oh wait i do that to him all the time anyway. hee.

What language does 15 speak? ALOY. english? chinese? maybe a bit of spanish and ugandan?

Who is 9 going out with? EDGAR. me of course. haha, i don't know, no one i think.

How old is 16 now? JUN SIEW. 15.

When was the last time you talked to 13? JIT YONG. heh shit not in a long time. does replying a tag count!

Who's 2's favourite band/singer? HANSEL. eh i know this one. S CLUB 7.

Would you date 4? SONIA. date as in those official attached kind then probably not at the moment, going out would be fine i guess.

Would you date 14? ALEX. what? after he tried to kill me with the bowling ball? no waayy.

Is 15 single? ALOY. hopefully! (inside story)

What is 10's last name? SAM KOH. err. koh.

Would you ever be in a serious relationship with 17? ZACH. hahaha no chance, the dude seriously against same sex relationships.

What school does 3 go to? MELVIN. sji.

disclaimer: i've no idea how i thought up those 20 people. they were kinda just running through my head. heh.

2006-12-18T21:30:00.000+08:00

i just realised that for a while, i haven't been posting anything that's exactly meaningful. apart from that post after coming back from sabah, even so, posts of those kind have been on a desperate decline. so anyway, i was talking to someone and was looking at something and i realised that the only reason why disputes can go unresolved for such extensive periods of time is because people seem to think that hitting back's the only way to fix the problem. okay i'm not blaming that person for wanting to hit back, i mean, i would to if i looked from their side of the mirror. but what i've also come to realised and find horribly logical is that, before we put revenge on the agenda, its good to take a step back and ask ourselves if what we do will have any consequences at all, regardless of whether long-term or short-term. sometimes, its better to just humble yourself a little to play the victim and forget what happened. when you hit back, do you think that that hit will not be returned? it wll be. its human nature to behave that way. so, while other people are all over the world proclaiming world peace and taking revolutionary measures that will move the world, i'll do my own small part through cyberspace here. hee.

taken from http://forthewicked.net.
i'm glad you understood. =D

everyone's dying. spending christmas with jesus.

2006-12-17T21:15:00.000+08:00

TAGRUSH!

zhenhe:
HI BACK ! !

hansel:
heh how. try me, i think we could go on trying over breakfast + lunch + dinner. =D

zach:
agreed !

charmaine:
yeah sure. i know you want like a whole lot more. =S

sonia:
ME. whoa. i'm feeling so honoured. somehow or rather. HM. i think you're just bored !

jit yong:
no i'm on! ha. i'm back already la, not going off anymore.

melvin:
-screams and runs off to hide in a corner. dude its pretty obvious!

hansel:
yeah melvin's now! i'm replying tags at his house. =D

jemy wong:
yeah okay! anytime just ask!

edgaaa:
whoa reinventing the english language huh! ehlloo back.

bill:
err. i just know. i mean, its quite obvious. okay maybe i don't know. but still pretty enough!

glen:
WHOOO. i told you already right! okay.

CHRISTMAS IS COMING! in like what 8 days? which is technically two weeks since there's only 7 days in a week. unless one day some genius decided to reinvent the way people think that we start to think that there's 8 days in a week, which is damn nearly impossible. so that's two weeks, or rather, one week and one day for all you calculative people out there that need to count and measure everything down to the last detail. so anyway, christmas is in 8 days. and my point is that christmas is in 8 days. so yeah! christmas is in 8 days. =D

2006-12-15T22:29:00.000+08:00

yay thailand was mega awesome. =D the coffee there is so cheap and its macro-fantastic. One day i'm gonna pack and move there and marry a nice thai girl. heh or so i wish. you know, the chiang mai national park is about 5 times the size of singapore. YES THAT'S THE DAMN ISLAND YOU'RE LIVING ON NOW. Get this, its called a park and its what, 5 times the size of our country? A PARK!? Does it mean the park's big? Nah, it just means we're puny. Anyway, i realised, if you can't distinguish a singaporean in a foreign land by looks, distinguish them by speech. and only singaporeans are capable of being so critical of their own kind. hee. its a small price to pay though, do unto others what you want done unto you, i don't mind people talking shit about me. (insert nice big evil+cynical+i-really-don't-care grin here)

so anyway, as you probably might have noticed after reading that whole paragraph of nonsense above(points to paragraph above), you should by now have noticed that the picture's up. yeah but i think it looks fairly odd. hmm. and i'm not going out of the country anymore! not that i'm happy about it but i'm not complaining. oh and did i mention, i saw more pretty girls in 5 days in thailand than i would spending 2 weeks in singapore. and those were real girls mind you. tsk.

2006-12-09T19:43:00.000+08:00

HAPPY CONFIRMATION HANSEL, CHARM, JOSEPH, MARCUS AND MICHAEL.

Today was a lot of fun and a lot of everything else.

Thailand till the 15th.

2006-12-09T10:29:00.000+08:00

whoopeee. =D

2006-12-04T23:42:00.000+08:00

no my blogskin isn't complete. i'm still missing the picture which i will put up soon, as soon as i get it done that is. because right now, the colour scheme and layout are the only things completed (yeah like i need to tell you that so you know). so wait if you want, don't wait for all i care, it isn't gonna make the picture appear any earlier than its going to. for the time being, enjoy the picture on the politically correct angels. interesting how the spirit of christmas is evolving and mutating as the years go by.

gone till the 9th.

2006-12-03T23:39:00.000+08:00

This is a publicity stunt. Go to this website for super scandalous material on the Singapore government! Okay i'm kidding, i'll get my whole family sued. But like i said, this is a publicity stunt, and i'm doing it for free. So go to WWW.UTTERBLABBERISH.BLOGSPOT.COM. Its defintely worth the click, go check out the stuff there. All it takes, is a single click.

Oh and there's this interesting picture that i wanted to post and talk about, but i won't do it now because i'm dead tired. Promise i'll do it tomorrow.

edit

looks like i'll be needing to post the picture up after all. Like, i gotta do it NOW. Don't ask why. Just look at the damn picture!

by jesse (http://utterblabberish.blogspot.com <- GO TO THIS SITE. IT OWNS BUTT)

2006-11-30T23:23:00.000+08:00

Gone til' Sunday. Hope they don't brainwash us. My hair's getting so long i can almost tie it up at the back. I hope this post makes at least two lines. Okay, that should do it. hee.

2006-11-26T20:58:00.000+08:00

I guess when you spend 12 whole days away from the comforts of home, taking a budget flight to a place like Sabah Malaysia, it really opens your eyes if you can actually be bothered to move away from your own ignorance. So maybe people complain that OBS is tough, conditions are shit, food sucks and things like that. But OB Sabah really makes you see that we Singaporeans really have nothing, absolutely nothing, to complain about. Let's say maybe if you were really spoiled then you'd continue thinking that life back home on our sunny island sucks straight to the core. If not, i'm sure you'd beg to differ once you're back here. I'm not gonna blog about our expeditions, what activities we did there and stuff like that. Sure, they were awesome, my instructors kick ass, but i don't think the expeditions(including the climb up Mt. Kinabalu) are really the only memories that we should be bringing back.

Back home on our little island, even houseflies are a rarity when you go to hawker centres. We have things like our 10-minutes mozzie wipe out, as though we're really being invaded my mosquitos. Over there in Sabah, mosquitos, bugs and everything else that crawls and flies are a daily routine. The people over there get used to it, if we brough something like a 10-minute mozzie wipe out, i'm sure they'd tell you things like a 24-hour mozzie wipe out wouldn't even do the damn trick. Their village houses have toilets with no lighting, no proper flooring, no showerheads, only taps, and all your waste gets washed to just around outside the house. And when i say no lighting, i mean you're literally pissing in the dark when it comes to nighttime. Air-conditioning is virtually non-existent when you go over there. But they have television there with cable so they're not THAT deprived. When people go over they think that you have to chop your own firewood and stuff, but though conditions are waayy less advanced compared to Singapore, they're not that backward. Its a lot dirtier over there though. So maybe its not that Singapore's clean, its just dirtier elsewhere. Their houses have wooden and cemented floors, and they have no computers. Technology is not that advanced at all. So after going to Sabah, you come back to Singapore and you realise how fortunate we all really are. No mozzie bites AT ALL. In Singapore we have so much that we really don't need at all, yet we still complain. We have so much. And the pace of life over there is so much slower. You can have lunch at 12:30, and report for the next activity at 2pm. That's how much free time they give us. Here in Singapore life is so much faster. We have to wake up for morning pt at 5:55 everyday though. Not that i mind. ha.

OB Sabah was absolutely super. I'll post pictures if i ever feel like it. You wanna know about the activities, expeditions and such, come ask me, because i'm not posting about it here, not at all. Online, offline whichever i really don't mind.

-

josh brought home ben&jerry's ice-cream from who knows where and i was just eating it after lunch. I was looking at the container and i saw something about no rBGH. And i thought to myself, by the time you can worry about all that rBGH killing you, the sugar's gonna get to you first. So really, even if the funny wuzzy chemicals don't kill you, the sugar will. And b&j's is really no big deal, i don't get what the big fuss is all about. =/

2006-11-13T00:22:00.000+08:00

Back on the 24th. PSLTC was great, though it was crazy hard work.

2006-11-09T23:44:00.000+08:00

tag replies ! i'm replying now since i realised that if i don't do it i'd get too lazy and eventually people are gonna get ignored.

gladys:
pretty damn awesome. =D back soon right!

christelyn:
hahaha my mum did that not me. you should've seen her laughing, real childish.

ian:
thanks! you too, we all do.

sonia:
well that's some kind of fun. hahaha did that scare you! everthing clickable on my blog flips. =D

belmond:
haha sorry la. glad you understood!

glen:
WTH. okay whatever. haha. and yes there's supposed to be a picture.

aloy:
eh me too me too. in SJI i look at the male teachers more than i look at the female teachers. though its no fault of mine really. and i'm straight as a stick.

passerby:
i don't know if i should be happy you said that but thanks anyway.

jemy wong:
i don't have it. mine was borrowed. either that or i've lost it.

matt lim:
expect what?

jit yong:
yea i definitely hope too.

-

PSLTC til sunday. God bless us all.

2006-11-08T23:59:00.000+08:00

today was interesting. interesting enough, and no sarcasm's intended. really.

i hope everything works out. i really want it to. PSLTC. messy messy.

2006-11-06T22:26:00.000+08:00

cute right. hahaha. that's what some of the guys who came for my confirmation got me. =D its hanging up to dry after the wash. quite an um, interesting way to hang it up don't you think. really cute though.

-

Actions and reactions. Okay i've been wanting to talk about this for a long time, and i've also realised that i've been too lazy to use capital letters for my past few posts. But i really don't care, but either way, to make reading this a little easier, i'll use them in all the correct places. If i miss out any, oops, i can't say i haven't tried. Its not like what i'm typing is incomprehensible. Okay, moving on.

I guess its pretty normal for heads to turn whenever a pretty girl walks past. I'm not using this example because i'm in love or anything, its just something typical enough that most people will understand. If you're a girl, you know guys look at you, if you're a guy, you know you look at girls. Or at least i hope so. Its perfectly normal to look, it isn't stated anywhere in the court of law that its wrong to look at someone of the opposite sex, and i don't think any religion doesn't tolerate such behaviour either. I think that, what's important and what should be taken notice of, its not the action of the boy looking at the girl, but rather, what the boy does after looking at the girl. He can either approach the girl to get her number, or he could simply move on with life as though it was nothing but a breath of wind. You stop for a moment to take in and experience the feeling or emotion, then you realise that there are more important things than getting absorbed in something like that, and decide that you have to move on. And you do. So lets say the guy approaches the girl to get her number because well, he's attracted. There's nothing wrong with attraction, it just shows that your hormones are in working order, and hopefully that your sexual orientation is inclined in the right direction too. So he gets the girl's number and starts talking to her, sms-es her day and night, calls her every once in a while, and feels like he's the luckiest boy to ever walk this planet called Earth just because a pretty girl's bothered to talk to him. Fine. No problem with that. 1 week later the boy's walking home and happens to see another pretty girl His head turns as he walks and he almost crashes into a lamp-post. We go through the same motions of watching him decide whether to approach the girl or just get on with life (yea dinner's best eaten hot hot hot). And guess what? Dude decides to get the number! Way to go you think? I think not. Don't forget he already asked for this other girl's number the week before, and when he's asking for this new girl's number, he's probably text-ing the girl from the previous week at the same time. This is the part where you, the reader, starts to think and reflect and ask yourself if what the dude in the story is doing is right. Go on, think! ... ...

I think that, there's a fine line between being attracted and being horny. I don't know why i even used the word horny, but i guess i just can't find a proper word to describe that action/emotion. I feel pretty damn strongly that although its normal to be attracted to different girls at any one time, its always important to exercise self-control. The opposite sex isn't our plaything. Yea sure, so they might treat us like that sometimes, but "do unto others what you want done unto you". Along the way, whether or not you realise it, there are people that you're gonna hurt for sure. Even if these are people you don't know, and indirectly a lot of people become involved. If you've read Five People You Meet In Heaven, you'll know how small little things, although seemingly minor and insignificant, can cause changes of revolutionary proportions in other people's lives. Its scary yes, definitely. But most of the time, we don't realise it. Maybe we couldn't care less, or maybe we just didn't know it would turn out that way. I'd definitely be able to illustrate what i'm trying to say more eloquently but i'm not going to, because i don't wanna offend anyone if they find out i'm actually talking about them. But i have to say this, because enemies of your best friends can be your good friends too, and whether you like it or not, it comes round to bite you sooner or later so you can't just sit and do nothing about it. One step at a time, sometimes realisation hurts the most, and often, it works best. Like i always said, efficiency's always better than deficiency.

"because we don't need reasons. we respond and react, but we need to remain in control"

2006-11-06T13:04:00.000+08:00

heh tagrush. WHOOSH! okay so while i wait for my dad to come home and take us all out to lunch, i'll reply all the tags here. thanks edgar but heh, you're not me ! sorry for wasting your effort. =P

bel:
it was an alright girl la. she was with her boyfriend, i swear he would've punched me but i was innoncent! it was the girl! not me! not that you know what happened. =/

zach:
heh, spare me the details. i really really don't wanna know.

edgaaaa:
what'd you be doing staring at an OLD LADY's uhm, hairy chest !? please remember you're only 15. and a grand one? hahaha, not that you're gonna parade around singapore wearing nothing but that with a tag behind saying, "MY FIRST THONG, BEAT THAT SUCKERS".

bill:
you never know. kids nowadays. tsk. anyway, thong refers to slippers la, just found the way they put it amusing.

marcus:
it was over msn. =P

melvin:
ego ah. its not the layout which makes the blog, its the entries. judging by yours, i think you need a lot more than just aMath remedial. HA.

glen:
thanks ! your present was awesome. i'm using it now. =D

hansel:
thank you. =D

edgaaaa:
good job anyway, hahaha.

okay dad's here. =/

2006-11-05T23:54:00.000+08:00

thanks a lot for everything guys. ya'll are/were/will always be awesome.

confirmed.

what comes next is up to me.

(and oh, my previous post has nothing to do with the opposite sex. because some people were wondering.)

"my pleasure"

2006-11-04T23:36:00.000+08:00

so close.

and in times like these, its no one's fault. you either make it happen, or you don't. you lose your chance, you wait for another. no point getting all emo and SHIT HELL I SHOULD'VE DONE IT WHILE I COULD I'M SO DAMN UPSET IT DIDN'T HAPPEN I'M GONNA OPEN MY WINDOW, MAKE IT LOOK LIKE I WANNA KILL MYSELF AND THEN BACK OUT CAUSE' I'M TOO SCARED. there, its pointless. we just, try again.

that's it. simple enough.

2006-11-03T13:23:00.000+08:00

Me,"You saw it coming didn't you."
God,"So did you."
and i can't argue with that.

2006-11-02T00:01:00.000+08:00

i just realised that today's the first of november. its a new month, which means its a start. well maybe not the start of the year, but nonetheless, its a start, and i guess i'll make the best of it. when you can't have what you want, you use what you've got, then when it all works out, that's what makes it worth it. so we try again, start over and hope for the best. yea maybe all it takes is a little hope, and we'll make it.

"maybe rooftops aren't high up enough. the plunge won't be enough to kill"

2006-10-31T22:18:00.000+08:00

okay so maybe ACE wasn't so bad, but i honestly think that the instructors need to re-think the way they do certain things.

anyway, i heard a certain friend of mine talking about how he likes this girl just because she's hot, he think she's nice, she's friendly and she's available. and i really wonder, if i thought like him, i'd be falling for half the girls i see when i walk from one side of town to the other, or from bedok to bishan. well, i'm not totally condemning the way he thinks because i do have firsthand experience when it comes to such emotions, i just don't react to them as "passionately" as my friend does. to me, its all a lot of infatuation, and infatuation is plain superficial. people say that as long as you feel special when with that someone, you know that he's/she's the one. to me, this
"special" in truth is just a feeling of happiness that you're with someone you're so attracted to. that's infatuation. if you wanna plunge into a relationship with someone that you're simply attracted to, i'm thinking, its just not enough. i'm sure you've also heard the saying of how love isn't finding someone you can live with, but finding someone you can't live without. my personal opinion is that its wrong. both parts of it. if you can't live without someone, its infatuation. think about it. if you live for one person, unless its Jesus Christ, then you've got a serious problem. think about it. i'm in no mood to do a super long post explaining the logic and rationale behind all these, so i'll just leave it at that.

"how do i tell her that .. i don't like the way she laughs and talks. does it actually matter that it all comes out wrong. how do i say it? oh look, i kinda just did."

2006-10-30T20:28:00.000+08:00

i'm drained.

good luck to those going for ace camp 2. you guys are gonna get tents that've been through 3 nights of rain, and the initial number of 40 tents is probably only about 30 or so. go and have fun there, seriously, and you'll also see how extreme things can get sometimes. just keep your sec2s happy, that's all that really matters i guess.

going to bed now. yes i know, its only 8:25.

"kinda easily amused aren't they"

2006-10-26T22:38:00.000+08:00

today was half-awesome. 3 can still make party though. =/ so anyway, took pictures of some interesting things. if you can't read the caption, don't get too pissed-off, can't exactly expect much from a 1.3 mega-pixel camera can you.

HM.

what a turn off, seriously. if a girl did that to me i swear i JUST MIGHT turn gay. but then again, the prettier and more decent females'll probably set my hormones in reverse motion and make me straight all over again. but still, EEYER.

this picture is the ultimate "HAHA-SO-WATCHA-GONNA-DO-NOW" to use on your ex or something. great for driving a girl nuts don't you think? SHIT SHIT WHAT AM I GONNA WEAR!? -fakes a girl screaming. heeee.

a wee-bit expensive for a first don't you think?

i'll be in ACE til monday, so no posts. good luck to all taking hmt on monday.

"and he'll probably melt when he finally sees you, because something's telling him all this hasn't been going right since the beginning. damage control never seemed so impractical."

2006-10-25T22:30:00.000+08:00

i was forced to sit through a britney spears concert today, and that sucked, big time. okay so maybe it wasn't the whole thing, but 4/5 songs is bad enough. i swear if it was some rap or r&b i'd be outta the PAC faster than you'd say "wha'sup, my gangsta' brotha". quote http://sf.snafu-comics.com/?strip_id=17.

the bus ride home today was awwkkwwaarrdd. too close, too close.

every once in a while we think we deserve to be shot, and right about now, i think that'd do me a favour. but i don't think its gonna happen.

"sometimes even if its you against the world, it doesn't matter if it feels like shit after shooting them down, because you're gonna feel worse if you just step back and watch it all happen with your hands behind your back. your conscience is screwed. not always the better version, doing nothing."

2006-10-23T23:12:00.000+08:00

my parents are such amusing people. and i thought today kinda went slightly better than any other day that's passed, so that's a good thing. but i'm not gonna blog about my day, you know i never do that.

on a slightly morbid note,

we're all hypocrites. all of us.

"The little children, they don't know what they say, because they're too young to understand. At least its just a game we all used to play when we were younger, at least they don't grow up hating like we hate, not knowing why they do it."

2006-10-22T00:28:00.000+08:00

HEH WTH. my mum and uncles and cousin are such sick people(i mean that in an honest but at the same time affectionate way). the things they say sometimes are seriously, explicit. its one of those things that if i told you about it, you'd look at me in a different way and get funny ideas everytime you saw me. BUT, i'm glad they're like that, because at least they're not boring. see i love my family and i'm not afraid to say it. =D you don't get that often nowadays do you, hahaha. so many people seem to hate their parents, so i think i'm fortunate. yes i am, and i'm grateful for that.

haha cute right. yes yes i know. and no no, don't get funny ideas about the next picture. took these at my granny's. couldn't help it, hahaha.

i think the there's too much hypocrisy in school. that's the main issue i guess. we talk too much and do too little. we point out problems and issues that need to be settled, and we display such eloquency and passion while at it, yet when it comes to taking action, we take a back seat and pretend we weren't the ones that flew the plane into the tower(this is an analogy) in the first place. and i think, sometimes, its just not enough.

we start small, then we'll watch it change, and we reap what we sow. we can. right? right. no point saying yes yes i agree and there's nothing more to it.

"your music's gotta be an honest reflection of where your head's at. to me, that also means, say what you mean and mean what you say."

2006-10-21T01:43:00.000+08:00

sometimes all it takes is for one person to stand up, and the rest will follow. then things will start to change, and the difference is made. but for that one person to stand up, its not easy. its not easy to wage a one man war, when your closest alliances can hardly be counted on. but i guess we all need to take our chances don't we.

ian i'm glad you said what you did, about time someone said something.

"looks like this lot's got quite a lot in common, we'll all do our part. won't we?"

2006-10-20T00:34:00.000+08:00

today was disappointing. i just don't know how some people can bring themselves to say that they've gotten 24 for each of their english essays yet say that their english sucks. i mean, seriously, okay nevermind i'm not gonna waste time talking about ego and nonsense like that. i'll let reality do the talking, even if its gonna be heck slow at achieving that.

really, and i was starting to think sji was a lot more than that. too bad 3 years of watching it happening all around isn't enough to make me stop loving sji. so there, i guess even places like that have their imperfections, and such things hardly ever say, "i'll go where you tell me too, because you're the only one whose opinion matters".

"like now, i really hope its gonna be different, but we all know that's not gonna happen"

2006-10-18T23:43:00.000+08:00

My brain isn't working now. i don't know why. Its weird when teachers give homework after exams, because we all can't think. like, i can't even remember the damn format for an english essay. how am i gonna sit for Os. but yea, that's just over-reaction. but it still pisses me off when i can't think.

i believe that we all learn in geography that water flows from the upper course of a river to the lower course of the river. ultimately the water flows into the ocean, which you might or might not want to call part of the river. actually it still is part of the river, its just the bigger picture. so when the water flows from one part of the river to another, does it leave the river? no. so, the water is still there isn't it? it doesn't go anywhere else, and i'm not talking about evaporation and the water cycle that displaces the water, just the whole phenomenon called flowing. so unless evaporation happens to displace the water, the water still remains there doesn't it? if nothing is done, nothing changes. it'll come back to haunt you. Go figure.

"because we all get scared when the big guns don't work."

2006-10-17T23:52:00.000+08:00

Today i finally realised why people answer their tags in their posts. Heh. Okay i'll do that too, what happened to originality and diversity. Huh, HUH!? Not really my fault someone came up with a good idea is it. =D

Charmaine:
you need english lessons. -.-

Hansel:
eh can i laugh too? hahahahahahahhaha

edgar:
wow. impressive use of the language , maybe YOU can tutor charm. =P

glen:
thanks! and yep i do, i'll relink you once i'm done with this post, which will be .. really soon.

jit yong:
go and post! and thanks. i'll sell you the template if you want! (heehee)

hyo:
yep sure. take your time, i'm in no hurry. =D

marcus:
yea! arson's a rare talent. few can do it really well. hahaha.

mark:
paint it black then. =X

victor:
yep, or at least i'm hoping it'll work out that way for them, i think they'd make a really charm-ing couple.

Sam:
thanks, really appreciate what you're saying. and actually i'm not too worried about my sperm, not exactly top priority. heh.

bill:
yea yay! haha.

ian:
AMEN! hahaha. there's lasallian encounter this year? if there is i'm definitely going. =D

"too many, too many"

2006-10-16T17:11:00.000+08:00

sometimes people get so emo it pisses me off. One day you're telling this girl you love her and then after a while, it gets a little boring. Another pretty girl walks past and WHAM! Its not like clouds gather to darken the sky, followed by lightning that strikes a giant crater in the earth to exclaim some dreadful prophecy telling that if you stay with the girl, you'd lose 67 different parts of your human anatomy and the very next day, pain-killers would cease to exist. In fact, your previous relationship becomes a mere breeze that blows past you, even less than a second thought or a second consideration of that once-significant other's feelings. I really wonder, when we humans say "i love you" at 15, do we really mean it, or do we say it because we know our special someone would be happy to hear it. really, i think love's gonna be redefined in time to come, it probably already has been. And we all become such hypocrites when we blog and talk about how we should take relationships seriously and yet we go round flaunting our laid-back attitude when it comes to relationships. Sure, people say that when you're still young, you need to try out different things, don't be afraid! Too bad these people never told you that such actions have repurcussions. Never take anything too seriously at this age, you'll just end up getting hurt. Will you even LEARN to take anything seriously at all in time to come? I doubt it and i have every right to. Look around you and see how people are plunging into relationships, only to come out of them shocked at the outcome and process. Well, not really something you thought it was was it. And i think its stupid how people can think attraction would bring about an awesome relationship. That's bullshit. Its like the saying that goes, "you know its love when you have great sex". Yea, i'm sure it works that way. We should all start sleeping around and see who gives us the most pleasure. Then we'd find that its the same with every pretty girl we're doing it with and we wonder why its turned out this way. And we don't realise its because such emotions are just fuelled by lust. When reality comes knocking on your door, you're gonna get caught with your pants down and then you'd kick yourself for being so stupid. Go ahead, tell yourself you'd never ever do such a thing again. I'd give you one week and then we'd see you back in the same damn ditch you landed yourself in exactly 7 days ago. Got a knack for being caught butt-naked don't you.

"i'd bet you 24 different parts of my human anatomy that they're doing that just to get the girl's attention. and i'd dare to say such things with confidence only because its so obvious. everytime they do something stupid, sideway glances at the girl are all that result. they're not doing it because heights give them thrills, after all, standing on someone's shoulders isn't exactly a climb up Everest is it."

2006-10-14T14:46:00.000+08:00

OH MANN. Life can be a real manifestation of hypocrisy sometimes. That really pisses me off but i don't think anyone exactly wants to hear me rant about the things that i don't like and complain about my little problems that are probably nothing compared to the nuclear war that might or might not happen in a few years time. So yea, let's move away from that.

You know, we humans shouldn't be eating so much processed food. Because, for one, it lowers your sperm count. If you're male then that might be something you might wanna worry about, unless you're someone who would wanna sleep around without the thought of a possible pregnancy ever crossing your mind. If you think that increases the joy of the shot then well, go ahead and nuke your sperm ducts for all I care. =/ BUT, since i'm sure we all wanna grow up and have nice kids and raise a nice family (yea not everyone wants a kid that sets his teacher's table on fire like me), i guess we really should be looking out for those potential life generators down there. We don't exactly wanna be firing shots from empty guns now do we. HOWEVER, if you're female, you don't exactly have sperm to worry about do you. And no one ever said preservatives hinders ovary functionality did they. Or maybe they did and i didn't hear it, not as though the word ovary is something my version of the human anatomy is exactly familiar with huh. HM.

But, i've been thinking about it, and i realised something. I've drunk green tea almost everyday from pri 5 to 6 then from sec 1 to 2 i've been alternating between soya bean and green tea. For the whole of this year, i've drunk soya bean everyday that i've made it to school. AND you know how people say taht both green tea and soya bean lowers sperm count. And so i realised there probably isn't anything left now is there. =/ But i'm not worried, heh. DAMN WHY AM I BLOGGING ABOUT THIS. I'm probably gonna blog again later, its only 3 o clock right now.

2006-10-12T22:49:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to do this quiz like, one month or so ago, but i'll do it now. -points at sep 8th's post. So yea here goes, for the err three i think, people that wanted me to do it for them.

-Hansel
1. You're always so disinterested in the opposite sex. hmm hmm.
2. Bring home the first place national trophy next year.
3. Purple/any bright bright flashy colour.
4. You have such faith in me. -feels emo and sentimental in an absoloutely non-homo way.
5. Running into the giant bush to take the soccer ball. Homeground huh. HA.
6. Chipmunk. I don't know why.
7. Did you know that i think there's such chemistry between you and ying ying? -nods head.

-Zhen He
1. Jumpy! Hysterical!
2. Learn to fly a plane. =D
3. Grey.
4. You're so bloody frank it reminds me of the idiot i am sometimes, that's a good thing!
5. The guy who never looks at people when he talks to them. Hard to hear what you're saying you know.
6. Dog. Heheh.
7. The victor question. Haha kidding kidding. Why dogs and not cats? O.o

-Hyo Seok
1. Anti-emo ah. Try 80s music la, its emo-less and a lot of fun. Like Van Halen.
2. Run 2.4 in under 8.
3. Orange/brown.
4. You hate emo.
5. Poser pai kia. Sec one why wear pants so low? (sorry this was a first impression. =/)
6. Firefly. Not animal but heck.
7. Ever thought that you'd become a rock star one day?

"sometimes what really matters is the perspective, not the picture"

2006-10-11T14:39:00.000+08:00

#01. single , taken or crushing ?

single and happy as ever about it. =D

#02. are you happy with your life now ?

Could be better a whole lot better, but yea i am.

#03. when you meet the right person , do you fall in love with her fast?

Nopee. if its fast it ain't love and that's a fact.

#04. have you ever have your heartbroken ?

Nop.

#05. do you believe there are some circumstances where cheating love is acceptable ?

no no never never.

#06. would you take someone back if she cheats on you ?

yea i would, for a day, then i'd ditch her.

#07. have you talk about marriage with another before?

With Hansel and Michael. We did a very in- depth analysis of the topic.

#08. do you want children?

Yup. I want a kid that comes home and says, "Daddy i set the teacher's desk on fire!"

#09. how many ?

2?

#10. would you consider adoption?

That would really depend.

#11. if someone likes you right now, what do you think is the best way to let you know his/her feelings ?

that's really up to the person isn't it. good question, wrong person.

#12. do you enjoy getting into relationship ?

i think being in one should be the question. But no, never tried.

#13. Be honest, what is the furthest you and your ex-bf/gf did?

Never had an ex.

#14. do you believe in love at first sight ?

Nop. Love at first sight is an excuse people use to conceal lust.

#15. are you romantic ?

-shrugs.

#16. do you believe you can change someone ?

Yep, and i think everyone can. Go read Mitch Albom's Five People You Meet In Heaven.

#17. if you could get married somewhere , where would it be ?

In a church?

#18. do you easily give in when you are fighting?

Heh, nope. I don't wanna talk about this one.

#19. do you have feelings for someone now?

Nope.

#20. do you wish that you could have had someone but you messed it up ?

Nope i've never.

#21. have you ever broken a heart?

I definitely hope not.

#22. if one day your bestfriend falls in love with the girl you're deeply in love with , what would you do ?

Its the girl's choice isn't it. If my bestfriend wants to make a big deal out of it, he's some bestfriend isn't he.

#23. are you missing someone now ?

Nope.

Now you have to ask 5 of your friends to do this survey in their blogswrite down their names in the lists below.tag them in their blog to let them know

1. [ someone, anyone, everyone ]
2. "
3. "
4. "
5. "

My papers are over but somehow it doesn't feel any different. I should steal someone's geography textbook and study for the paper tomorrow that i'm not taking. It just feels weird, i think i'm supposed to be happy about it, or at least that should be the desiered effect of liberation. But err, its kinda weird.

"this is a little like when there's sex and you're so looking forward to it, and after you do it you ask yourself, that's it?"

2006-09-10T23:02:00.000+08:00

Its that time of the year again. Uh-huh. I'm gonna disappear, this time for real. For a while. The quiz thing below this, um. I think its gonna have to wait, sorry, i'll do it after finals or something. So yea, back on hiatus. I shall post just this little bit for now, for minimal entertainment, then you can leave and curse me all you want. =D

We were at this confirmation mass at St. Iggs yesterday. THE CHOIR THERE OWNS. And this was on the shirt of one of the girls infront. She must've though i was nuts when i asked her to move so i could take a picture of it. Anyway, there. My comment: Hahaha. Our world's gonna come to an end soon. Though i do agree with that to a certain minimal extent. The whole of yesterday was a whole lot of happy things la. But its back to reality now. See ya in er, 1 month or so? =S

Pretty black!

2006-09-08T21:33:00.000+08:00

Heh. Hansel made me do this again. Always has to be him doesn't it. So anyway, thanks buddy! Here goes.

Tag me if you wish and:

1. I'll respond with something random about you.

2. I'll challenge you to try something.

3. I'll pick a colour that I associate with you.

4. I'll tell you something I like about you.

5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory about you.

6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.

7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.

8. You must post this on yours.

2006-09-07T00:06:00.000+08:00

I NEED TO THINK, MAKE THIS WORK, AND FIGURE THIS OUT.

2006-09-03T23:51:00.000+08:00

Now i know what its like to do something for the sake of just doing it. To want to do something for no apparent reason. I'm not gonna talk about what's gone through my mind before, some are crazy, weird, retarded or plain abnormal. A lot of it is explicit material, and if it was all made into a movie, this country would ban it and have me locked up in a mental institution and kept under surveillance 24-7. They'd probably even have an armed guard stationed to prevent un-expected behaviour. Yes, you get the drift. Okay let's talk about something less, for lack of a better word, sick. Which reminds me, there's hardly anything to talk about. There are people i want to meet in real life, people that i wish i haven't met, people that i want to walk out of my life and people that i want to walk into it. I could turn this into some super long piece of prose, but i'd rather not. Its 12:02 am (yes i know, its early to some of you, crazy nocturnal creatures). I feel like playing my BFMV album now but my whole family's sleeping and i don't wanna wake the neighbours. What are the chances of me waking anyone up 7 floors up huh. Not like i've got them playing live in my room. That'd be so cool! But yea, i'm not taking my chances. Not today. Oh guess what, MY ATARIS ALBUM FINALLY WORKED. YES. I'm happy.

I'm feeling like: I could listen to Jimmy Eat World's 23 for the rest of my life and die happy.

Random thought that passed through my head today: HOW COME SAC HAS PRETTY GIRLS!? THIS CANNOT HAPPEN! ITS NOT SUPPOSED TO. (Disclaimer: If you're from SAC and you see this, its a good thing, not a bad thing. Nicola if you see this, it has no reference to you whatsoever, heh. And don't kill me for it. I have 9 lives. =D)

2006-09-01T00:02:00.000+08:00

I don't know what i'm doing sitting here and erm, blogging? This is a little bit like spying without an agenda. Walking into a room with a gun and not knowing who you're supposed to shoot, if you're even supposed to shoot anyone at all. Oh wait, maybe the gun's filled with blanks. And then you get the oh-what-the-hell-i-really-don't-know-what-the-hell's-going-on feeling. Kinda gets to your head after a while. Anyway, so many people seem to be emo-ed up and all because of whatever reason, i don't really care. Okay, not that i don't care that these people are talking about wanting to jump off rooftops or climb mountains and swim to the bottom of oceans without oxygen tanks just to express their love. You know, i realised that you don't need to climb the highest mountain to show someone you love her/him. Because, once you ain't gonna get to the top of any damn mountain without proper professional training and equipment. If you do, you'd probably die halfway and the person you love will hate you for dying when you're supposed to live and show your love. And even if you could undergo all that training, the one you love would probably be thinking, "Why spend all your time on wanting to climb a stupid mountain when all should be doing is spending time with me!?" So much for sincerity. I guess its a lot easier to tell someone you love her/him than to make up such bullshit about climbing the highest mountain and swimming the widest river. After all, if you've ever talked to me about such things, you'd know that i think at this age we're all a little too young to be talking about love. We're all just over-dramatising life to make it as screwed up as possible for ourselves. Adds to the excitement doesn't it. Just makes life that much more fun - and harder to deal with. From this point onwards this post will most likely start going nowhere fast so i just hope you caught the drift of what i've been trying to say. If you didn't, it doesn't matter, you'll find out the hard way, through personal experience. Ouch. I'm in no mood to go crazy and oh so girlishly hysterical with all the caps locked words and random nonsense here, there and everywhere. Maybe another time. I've realised that in life, there are a lot of things we can do without. I'm not gonna say anymore, i'll probably have half the people i know wanting to kill me. Oh. Maybe even all. =S

2006-08-27T22:33:00.000+08:00

I just realised that my previous two posts were both posted on Sundays, and that my August 5th post is so full of spelling errors. Too bad its so damn long i can't be bothered to edit it. I'll settle for being a spelling retard for the time being, its nice to not have to make an effort to spell properly sometimes. OKAY. Everything before this post was just random. There's this funny compressive feeling acting on my brain now, i know what i'm missing but i don't think those two things are related - at all. I mean the funny feeling and the thing i'm missing. Which is a bit like, my heads itchy and i desperately need to drink Bailey's now. Related? Absolutely not. I never knew Bailey's cured head itches, i always thought that its just alcohol in chocolate for little kids.

So anyway, on a completely unrelated (oh i just used "related" again) note. Today when i came back from town and was walking home, i just suddenly felt that i needed coffee. But that's not the point. The point is - COFFEE SHOP COFFEE KICKS ASS. It beats Starbucks hands down, eyes closed, wings clipped. Seriously. Nothing tastes better than real authentic coffee shop coffee, which reminds me of why its called a COFFEE shop in the first place. The downside sucks though. Its the its-amazing-how-something-can-taste/feel-so-good-yet-feel-so-bad-after-doing-it kinda scenario. I felt like i ate rubber after i drank the stupid liquid. But hey, who doesn't feel sick after too much sugar. Analogy! (refers to sentence before word) Oh oh one more thing. I SWEAR I SAW MY EGG MOVE DURING DINNER. Like you know those hard boiled eggs. Yea i swear i saw it move. I was so hoping it was gonna crack open. Too bad i ate it.

I just realised that my post's been so girlishly hysterical. Hahaha okay, yes, i know. It happens to all of us sometimes. I'm sexist, i know. But only because the male toilet at Borders has stairs that lead up to it and the female toilet doesn't. Stupid sexist contractor. She probably just fancies the idea of guys answering nature's call on a flight of stairs, especially when nature's SCREAMING. Alright time out. I'm just kidding about the sexist contractor thing. After all only guys are good enough to be contractors! OKAY. Kidding again. I mean none of this contractor nonsense. Read it for good fun then empty it out the window. Wow. My first and last paragraphs both start with the same five words. And end with full stops.

2006-08-26T23:53:00.000+08:00

Today was ONE BIG DISAPPOINTMENT. Seriously. Pride and Prejudice is a good show, living out a compromised version is absolutely no fun. What's that supposed to mean, go figure. Sometimes i really wonder why things happen the way they do when i already know why. Its like the answer's staring me in the face, i've acknowledged it, yet it doesn't register. Something like a living-in-denial kinda thing that you can toggle on and off as and when you like. Sounds like fun huh. You wish. Two months is a long time. Three is even longer. Why do things always have to happen on this side of the sphere? Why not the other? Why not both?

My last post was insanely long, i know.
Here's the post-post disclaimer:
Most of it are events that have actually really occurred, but have been taken out of context. So everything you've read hasn't happened in the way portrayed, they've been modified, twisted and reinvented into something less real. So yes, its mostly fiction. Evolved from reality you could say.

2006-08-05T23:02:00.000+08:00

Every day you realise, is the same composition of feelings and emotions. Each morning you wake up and feel the same pain, boredom, anxiety, anger, fear, happiness, ecstasy. You're one big paradox in itself. Not being able to ever understand how a human is capable of feeling both happiness and anger at the same time, feel a sense of liberation yet feel enclosed and warped in his own thoughts. How does a human mind cope with so much pressure, so much contradiction. And every morning you wake up, stare at the white-washed ceiling above you, experience all this and ask yourself the same old questions all over again. Does it really matter? Doess it really matter that you don't understand? Does it really matter that this weird conjunction gives rise to such complicated feelings that you feel you don't wanna get out of bed but just curl up and let your whole brain run wild on you. Or maybe its better that way. The same ridiculous and irrational questions should just repeat themselves and wonder why no answers are showing themselves. Then you start to doubt everything that happens around you. Why do you taste the same plain-ness of the air when you wake up each day. Is the stickiness from condensation or evaporation. Oh wait, can we start with defining condensation. Irrationality seems to be the only thing you can relate to. Maybe you should just slit your wrists in the shower and watch the blood flow down onto the floor. Red and white do make a perfect contrast after all. Take a picture, call it your masterpiece, at least you died a work of art. Then you snap back to reality and realise taht all this is a bad joke. Imagination run wild. You have no idea why you're even thinking abouts suicide at all. School starts in one hour. You should get out of bed and start your day, and you do. Everything you do is a routine, it happens everyday. You walk past the same bus stop, see the same faces, smell the same cigarette smoke that the guy who sits on the left always smokes. Why can't people just smoke tobacco? That way you won't have to take in all that second hand smoke that drives you a little bit too nutty, your brain already exhausted from your daily morning dose of mental skirmish. You board the same bus, stand in the same spot, feel the same coldness of the air-conditioning, see the same pretty girl, hope the same hope that for a moment she'd look up and smile at you like you wish she'd do. With such a perfectly sculpted face, a smile would crack the skyline open and pour ecstasy from all the dimensions into this revulsion of a universe. Maybe this way when all the people in the universe see that such a miracle and beautiful creation of a human can actually exist, the wars might all just stop. Soldiers drop their weapons and ask themselves why the hell they're fighting when they can be enjoying the beauties of creation. The only difference is that the smile's meant for you, and it makes you feel that much more special. Except that reality is as cruel as ever and she doesn't even look up at all the whole way to school. You get off the bus, feel that same stab of disappointment, sigh the same sigh of concede, and get on with life. School is the same mundane ritual of lessons, lessons, more lessons and just somemore lessons. You'd think that recess is a consolation, but that in itself is a lie incarnate. What on earth is 30 minutes of free time supposed to help? The queues are as long as ever, the list of undone homework as long as ever, and the little intimacies of life as many as ever to bitch about. The bell rings and the whole process repeats itself. Lessons and lessons and more lessons. School ends, you start to feel a little better about going home and then you start to remember and curse yourself for having such keen memory. CCA. The word itself sticks itself in your mind like a stake sharpened in such a way that pulling it out hurts more than putting in it. You decide to leave it as it is and just get on with it because its so much easier that way. Training starts for you and you wonder why you even bother going when you were made redundant .. how long ago was it? Exactly one year. Why does the school even expect your presence when it has no need for it? Is it consolation for its conscience? That it knows its fulfilling its dutiful role to provide you with a CCA that you should go whether you like it or not so it turns up nice and clean in your dossier. Is this whole thing just an act carried out for the sake of fulfillment? After all it was the coach himself who said you were outstanding. That you made a difference. Now you look at him, smell the stink of his words and really start to wonder why the hell he even bothered wasting that bit of saliva giving you that sense of achievement when all it ever amounted to was false hope. The only satisfaction you get is your team-mate tell ing you that it was because of all you did as a Captain was what brought the team so high, to make that enact that milestone in the history of the school. The first batch to obtain what the previous guys failed to do. You see the same idiotic face of the coach, all the fallacies his mouth is capable of producing, get a grip on yourself and remind yourself that thinking of all this is just an unnecessary cause of more stress. Food for thought is good, but not this way. The way home is as dull and dreary as waking up to find that you're living in a black and white movie. Maybe the initial excitement is a little something to be happy about, but even that does not last. The bus takes the same highway, makes the same turn, passes the same buildings and stops at the same stops. You get off at yours and the walk home is always the perfect time for quiet reflection. Reviewing your day and asking yourself if you made the most of that day of your life is that little moment of sanity you give yourself each day. Occasionally you look back on your life and smile when every single happy thing that happened comes to your mind, and you start to feel that life isn't that bad at all. Every past relationship born and broken plays itself like a script come to life in your head. You don't know if you want to laugh or cry when you recall everything that special someone said. It drives you crazy wondering how a person can have so much ego, but at the same time the person says it in such an animate way, you can't help but think that you've never ever seen a prettier girl. This is that little flux in the timeline, where everything seems to pause and all that matters is that memory and your savouring it. Then reality steps in like the anti-climax in a bad storybook and you remember that the two of you aren't together anymore. A bout of misery and depression hit you for three seconds of your life and for that period of time it feels as though you've lost your purpose in life. Except that after that three seconds you remind yourself that you've lived through long enough without dying from that breakup that it actually isn't that bad. In fact, you enjoy the freedom that comes with a breakup. The sense of release is liberating. Now you look at a pretty girl without feeling that guilt, laugh with another girl without the nagging worry that she might think that you're flirting with her. Even if she does think this way, it wouldn't matter since you're not held down in a relationship. The thoughts seem to get happier and happier and until Mr. Reality feels that he hasn't gotten enough of injecting dejection and woe into your already despondent little life. You see the same boy and the same girl on the way home. They are at the same place that they meet everyday after school. Its only a brief moment or two to exchange the little occurrences and excitements that have unfolded in the 24 hours that they spent apart. All this seems normal to you: a couple meeting from their different schools to talk about life, it being special because they're attached and there's that sense of comfort and ease that they experience with no other. The only distinction is that every single time they're together and laughing the same laugh that they laugh everyday and enjoying the joy of the instance, her eyes stray. They stray from the face she was so focused on one moment ago and they land on you. That same kodak moment happens all over again and it feels as if the both of you have got something going on. It feels as though the both of you have known each other for as long as "forever after" can mean. You were together before time even started to exist. Before the clouds began to form in the sky, before water began to accumalate in the ocean. Heck, even before grass began to know that they were supposed to grow and be green, the you were together, close and as tightly knit as the the blue in the sky seems to hold together. But you still don't understand why she doesn't leave him. In the two seconds that you spend looking into her eyes each day and she looking into yours, its an exchange of feelings and emotions so intricate and convoluted, all the code-breakers in the world would have a field day trying to decipher them. All you know is that this is the feeling of something a little deeper than love and that's where you stop all the thinking. You've got it all figured out and for once in your live you leave all this in the hands of fate and just get on with whatever pathetic demeanor you're attempting to put up to hide your true feelings. He must not see that she's got a thing for you. He musn't know that each time she's with him, she looks forward to seeing you. That the only reasons she doesn't fall sick and miss school is because she must turn up at that same spot, to feign interest in him so that she can see you. Two seconds feel like a long time, but in truth, two seconds are just two seconds. Its short whether you like it or not, long enough for you to know that she's looking at you, but too short to spark off a chain reaction made up of sweet scented flowers and heart shaped chocolates in your heart. Combustion doesn't take place to light up that fire your heart has so much potential to create. Instead, the spark just fizzles out and you carry on walking, not a fraction of doubt in your step. Seek solace in the fact that this will happen again tomorrow is all you can do. But you can't help but think, does she really want me? Does she feel that tug in her heart to join you, to leap into your arms like you want to hold her for eternity, to smell the sweetness of her hair, to feel the warmth of her skin against yours. This is more than sexual. This means more than a passionate escapade in bed. Sex is superficial. You don't want it. Its not good enough. Continuity is part and parcel of life, interruptions are more than you can afford to risk. Every day you allocate yourself five seconds to run through those emotions and assure yourself that with patience you can create miracles. That one day all this will change. That one day you will wake up to see that the sky is green and not blue. The grass is not green but red. Water doesn't run clear but yellowish. And then you can truly say to yourself that today is different from any other. You finally dare to tell yourself that life is more than a masquerade. The play must come to an end. A storyline however good, needs to stop somewhere. Nothing goes "happily ever after" at the end like they say in fairy tales. These people are disilluisoned. Anyone who believes in this has to live in denial for the rest of their lives. Hopefully, tomorrow when you wake up, the world will truly be brighter on your side of the looking glass. Til' then, you can only say, the show must go on.

Whew. That was some piece of writing. Helped me to de-stress though. Have fun reading, if you actually make it through that many words. =D

2006-07-16T22:22:00.000+08:00

HANSEL I HATE YOU! Haha. Just kidding. I know you did this out of goodwill. Since you even thought of me, i'll do this. I know this blog's supposed to be on hiatus. I'm just glad i said that i'd allow exceptions. =D

Bold the statements that are true to you.
Italise the statements that you WISH are true.
Leave the Fibs alone.
Then, stab 5 people to do the same test.

I miss somebody right now.
I don't watch TV these days.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes.
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm TOTALLY smart.
I've broken someone's bones.
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
I like the way I look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have a lot of friends.
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
I would rather shop then eat.
I don't hate anyone.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have tried alcohol before.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie.
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I am happy at this moment.
I'm obsessed with guys.
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went to college out of state.
I like sausages.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colors.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I don't know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsesical the better.
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex.
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie.

Stabbed: EDGAR. Everyone else fill up your own names here. ___

2006-06-18T23:04:00.000+08:00

Its official. I'm gonna stop blogging when school starts. I honestly need to flush this distraction down the toilet, through the entire drainage system and out into malaysian waters. Yes. =)
I'll probably blog my last before school reopens. For me, its LLTC til' friday and lets just say i'm looking forward to it because i desperately need the time for work and a whole lot of other stuff. Mostly, i have some major thinking to do. About life .. and a whole lot of other stuff.

2006-06-16T21:48:00.000+08:00

Three names you go by: julian, wong, julian wong.

Three parts of your heritage: Singaporean. Mexican? German?

Three things that scare you: People that make me wanna love and hate at them at the same time. Weird looks. Actions i don't see coming.

Three things you're wearing now: Shorts, SAC Pe t-shirt, underwear.

Three of Your Everyday Essentials: Water, purpose, facewash.

Three of your favourite bands or musical artistes at the moment: Bullet For My Valentine, Children of Bodom, Jimmy Eat World

Three of your favourite songs at the moment: Bodom Beach Terror, My Side of the Story, Meltdown.

You want in a relationship (other than love): Meaning. Fun. Company.

Two truths and a lie: Propaganda is bullshit. Popstars are my heroes. If a girl's hair smells nice it turns me on.

Three Physical Things about the Opposite Sex that Appeal to You: Face, smell, hair.

Three of your favourite hobbies: playing. writing. thinking.

Three things you want really badly now: Time. Opportunity. Focus.

Three places you wanna go on vacation: Japan, Italy, Malacca.

Three things you wanna do before you die: Take one breath less. Look at the sky. Say sorry to the person who has to watch me die.

Three people i would like to see take this quiz: Anyone who has initiative and believes that i want him/her to do it.

2006-06-08T23:14:00.000+08:00

Is it my basic catholic duty to blog about confi camp which happened almost 4 days ago? I guess not. If you surf the internet right now, you'd probably find more than one blog where the guy is just so high on the experience his post actually goes on for what, 9, 10 pages? Insanity? Delirious ranting? Nah, i don't think so. Its just this spiritual high that everyone gets after a camp like this one. Honestly, it was one amazing camp, but i'll say it really becomes pointless if all we do is walk away saying, "Aww that rocked" and nothing happens after that. So, if you wanna read what actually happened, look through my links for the churchies and read their posts, if you have the patience that is. I'll just say one or two things though, to make sure i don't actually forget what happened. And no, i ain't gonna be blogging about the sessions and stuff. It'll just be crazy, you can read it on someone else's blog.

I wanna say sorry (i know i've said it more than enough times already, but just bear with me, i really need something to fill up this space. =P) to all those people i got into trouble for putting the toothpaste on gerald. Okay, so maybe it wasn't really trouble considering that all we had to do was reflect and share on a certain bible passage, but yea, i did waste all of your time. Though i must say we could all do with that little experience that we gained from bible sharing. So, Kevin, Christelyn, Joel, Gordon, Chris Yap, Linus and Sonia. It was a laugh we could all really do with but then again, it wasn't very nice. Toothpaste is like, HOT. But then again, i'm glad the whole thing happened. Too bad that guy just had to have toothpaste put on him for the whole thing to happen. Oops, sorry. And oh. There's someone in cath that loves herself so much she actually had to take picture of her own name. Ha. Okay, thats all.

I know my blog's on hiatus, that's why this is a really short one. See tim & kev, i've blogged. =D

2006-05-29T22:22:00.000+08:00

Because of the occurrence of certain life-changing events, i've decided to put my blog on hiatus for the time being. Time being would mean until i pass physics or my grades show prominent improvement sooner or later. The way i put it, it sounds as though i screwed TA2 really really badly. As a matter of fact, it was only physics that killed me really sadistically in every sense of the word. So yea, i'm not taking any chances though, i'll just put this site on hold for a while, and see if it makes a difference. The reasons are more academically inclined more than anything else, and i know how i've told a lot of people how academics aren't all that important. I know. I sound like a hypocrite now. But hey, i'm just prioritising. I probably won't be posting for quite sometime until the end of term 3 which is around october? Yep. So, i've actually just left my blog up so that in case you're looking for something to read, you can always go through my archives and look how much more retarded i've become over the past few months. I will most probably still post a little bit over the next few months. A little bit as in .. a wee lil' bit. Maybe one day i walk along the street and a refrigerator drops on my head, i'll just come home and post something like, "Today i learned that if a refrigerator falls on your head, it hurts BAD." Yea, something like that. I'll probably start today.

Sometimes, "suffering in silence" is the much better and safer way to go. Definitely better than standing on bukit timah hill and screaming for the world to know that you can lay eggs that hatch into half-camel, half-ostrich creatures out of your left nostril. Figure of speech you know. Til' then, i'll be seeing ya. Bye world, for a while.

2006-05-22T22:22:00.000+08:00

Willpower

Its really not worth it. And i think i know why. I'm in no mood to post properly so i won't, everyone will just have to bear with my one-liners until i'm over this shit.
I'm having my period. I know.
I really hate disappointing.

2006-05-15T17:04:00.000+08:00

Vendetta Red's "A Dark Heart Silhouette" was playing on my playlist just now, and the lyrics kinda struck me. In case you didn't know, some of Vendetta Red's music do contain sexual themes, but that doesn't make me a sex-crazy psychopath that will end up raping and killing every single female that walks this planet. Its just music, and the stuff i listen to don't change my character .. at least i think it doesn't. Yep, it doesn't. But their music's good stuff, just listen and move on. However, a certain part of this song really did trigger off and set alight a train of almost sadistic and well, somewhat psychotic thought. I don't think that such a thing will happen anyway, or at least i hope not. Here's the song, you'll see what i think at the bottom.

I got a secret, a terrible secret
And if I tell you would you promise to keep it secret?
I just put my head down
every time you call my name.

Because they never understand me anyway.
Every time you call me.
In the shape of a palm on the side of her face
Every time you call my name

He was our teacher
a Sunday school preacher
He made her stay after school one day while I waited
And I watched him take her
Beat her and rape her
And he said if you tell anyone i'll have god kill your mommy

So I just put my head down
every time he called me name
cause they never understand me anyway
every time you call my name
in the shape of a palm on the side of her face
every time you call my nameI got a secret,
a terrible secret but you'd never understand it anyway
every time you call my name

In the shape of palm on the side of her face
Every time you call my name
Anyway,
Every time you call my name
In the shape of a palm on the side of her face
Every time you call my name

I got a secret

Firstly, i want to assure anyone who's reading this that God will IN NO WAY listen to that asshole. So next time someone frightens you with a threat that seems almost blasphemous, don't believe it. Stand your ground and do whats right. When i was listening to this song, the thing that was going through my head was, "If anyone does this to my girlfriend, i swear i'll kill the bastard. I'll do it so slowly, he'd feel every bit of pain through every single part of his body. When he passes out, i'll shake him out of his unconsciousness and do it all over again. When he dies, i won't feel sorry. At all." There's more detail to it and its definitely more abstract than that, but i won't put it here, since we're all young and really shouldn't have such violent feelings running through our heads. I'm sure i'm not the only person that'll feel this way. I mean, such things are just disgusting. There's a complicated story behind this album, so i'm sure they have their reasons for writing such a song. Its a good song anyway, so if anyone's interested in listening to that song, let me know. =)

Listening to Dance Inside by All-American Rejects

just a while more